i want to tell you all a story

[Integrity]

there really isn't any discussion merit in this topic, i just wanted to make it to share because that's the mood i'm in. feel free to comment or not, i don't care if this thread gets zero replies, this was just meaningful to me.

this is a story of pokemon red

not fire red

red

many years ago i was given a game boy pocket and pokemon red. i was a child and played the game for hours but never really got much of anywhere. in 1999 or so i put the game down and moved on with my life. later, i got a game boy advance. pokemon red fell silent.

but i kept the game boy pocket with pokemon red in it. i never touched it, nah, but i kept it around. around 2011, on a whim, i put new batteries in the game boy pocket and promptly forgot about it.

it is the two thousand and fourteenth year of our lord, and my wonderful girlfriend is visiting me. i remember pokemon red, and suggest we pull it out of my cabinet and put it in the game boy player, which my wonderful sister bought for my birthday one year, attached to the gamecube, and have some fun with pokemon red on the big tv.

last night, we fired it up. ASH had been played for fourteen hours, had five badges, and had five active pokemon. CHARIZARD, the level 53 charizard; DRATINI, the level 15 dratini, NIDOKING, the level 33 nidoking, NIDOQUEEN, the level 18 nidoqueen, and CLEFABLE, the level 30 clefable. bill's pc was anemic, having a sparse two dozen pokemon, most in their teens and twenties, most unnamed. i swapped in a level 30 tentacool named TENTACOOL and we pulled up gamefaqs to figure out where i was in the game.

we figured it out, marched towards our goal, and trashed sabrina's place. we learned that dratini was a surf bot, surfed around, got mad, captured a seadra, named her DONGS, and destroyed blaine. we found out i never found fly, so she benched NIDOQUEEN and surfed DONGS to giovanni while i was in the bathroom. we wrecked giovanni and laughed that i might even beat pokemon red for the first time. we walked to victory road and shut down the gamecube for the night.

two hours ago, we headed back over to the gamecube. just like last night, we laid half on the ground and half on beanbags in a pile of limbs and water glasses and controller cords. i cried and she comforted me while i tried to get through the cave on victory road - why is DONGS' entire moveset not enough to make it through the whole cave even with her one-shotting every single mob? - and accidentally overwrote CHARIZARD's mega punch with mega kick. oh well! we made it to the pokemon mart anyway, and healed up. i refused to buy anything, figuring what the hell, i'll definitely lose and then restock later, i'll just burn this handful of revives and max heals if i have to.

head in and fight the first chick, she gives us a run for our money. wrecks the team, i have to fire off all but two of my revives afterwards, plus my only status heal.

fight the second dude, not too shabby. i had to burn another revive, but came out of it pretty on top!

fight the third chick, hell, whatever. things are starting to look good, but mega kick is out of pp and some of my pokemon are looking banged up.

time for LANCE. lance turns several of my pokemon into mush, forcing my hand to my final wondrous strategy of throwing DRATINI at an enemy so he'll tie up a turn so i can revive CHARIZARD. CLEFABLE is down, DONGS is down, i'm trying to conserve CHARIZARD, so i throw NIDOKING in against his second dragonair - the first killed DONGS, and with her my primary counter to the dragonairs. what's the dragonair do? it uses agility. NIDOKING uses submission! what does the dragonair do? it uses agility.

...this continues, unerring, until the dragonair is dead. NIDOKING, half its level, mashed it to pieces using submission and then, when his health was too low to force submission, strength. his honorable work wasn't done, however. NIDOKING gets swapped in when the dragonite kills CHARIZARD so i can max revive CHARIZARD, my last item, and i decide to leave NIDOKING to his work. he's got a few shots of fire blast left, yeah? what the hell! first fire blast burns the dragonite, and the match slowly ticks out as dragonite keeps buffing his own defense while slowly burning and getting strengthed to death. i celebrate - a level 38 nidoking beat lance. two pokemon alive, one at full health and one at 12 health, CHARIZARD's pp sitting at 0 for mega kick, 4 for flamethrower, and i won the game.

i forgot about gary motherfucking oak.

the plot forces me into him and i despair. i used exactly my last restorative item of any kind on lance, NIDOKING's in no shape to do ...well, anything, so CHARIZARD is my only card in my hand. but you know, sometimes you play what life deals with a straight face and whatever happens does, yeah?

charizard uses swords dance.

pidgeot uses whirlwind, to no effect.

charizard uses swords dance.

pidgeot uses whirlwind, to no effect.

charizard uses swords dance.

pidgeot uses whirlwind, to no effect.

charizard uses cut.

the next few pokemon went completely uneventfully, leaving CHARIZARD at full health for rhydon. rhydon, resistant to both of the attacks my team has access to, arrives. rhydon uses nothing but defense-lowering attacks on CHARIZARD while CHARIZARD slowly nicks health away with cut, over and over again. rhydon dies. tree shows up, gets destroyed in a single flamethrower. while flamethrower is playing, i remember what gary's last pokemon has to be.

blastoise.

i knew that moment that everything hinged on luck, so i went at it with gusto. CHARIZARD used cut, taking off most of blastoise's health. blastoise countered with blizzard

and missed.

charizard's subsequent cut ended blastoise and the game.

a child's dream, probably rudely crushed by sabrina against an unbalanced team fifteen entire years ago, was realized tonight. the pokemon hall of fame emerged, all these pokemon caught in 1999 returning for a final hurrah. CHARIZARD, NIDOKING, DRATINI, CLEFABLE, TENTACOOL, and their newest friend and mentor DONGS.

God bless them all.

[ZemZem]

the feeling of joy you feel whenever an opposing mon's most powerful move misses your mon, who then takes it down

Cheers.

Edited May 9, 2014 by ZeeEmm

[Original Alear]

This could be the longest completed pokemon game ever...? GJ congratulations go catch Mewtwo.

[Freohr Datia]

At first I thought "wow my memory is so horrible, he remembers this in so much more detail than I do"

And then BUT WAIT

Pidgeot's first move was mirror move~ Then the rest was whirlwind either way it did nothing and it was gr9 ^o^

[Knight]

A touching story.

[Junk]

surprisingly entertaining. cool story integrity!

[Sifer]

Good Job integrity you saw your childhood goal to the end!

I only completed one Pokmon game and that is Saphire. I entered the Elite Four with 60 full restores. I beat the game with 4 remaining. I was proud of myself :)

[MercyWalk]

tl;dr but I saw Nidoking so I like you

[Book of Ereshkigal]

I was half expecting this to end with you turning on the game and your save being gone due to batteries.

Congrats, doe

Edited May 9, 2014 by L95

[Stargirl]

A touching story.

I was going to say that.

I enjoyed reading your story. It had interesting suspense. I really thought you lost at one point. Anyways, congrats on your victory after so many years.

[Loki Laufeyson]

Dude. I read that OP with this playing:

And it was fucking awesome. Good job!

[Esme]

I CriED

SO HARD

BLESS DONGS

BLESS CHARIZARD

[Nightmare]

god bless the you bubba

[Refa]

Heard this from Specta, but it was definitely worth it to hear the full version from you! Also just wanted to say this twice:

Pokemon Red harder than College

And congratulations! Your childhood self would be proud.

[eclipse]

So much for Gary Motherfucking Oak. Congratulations~!

[Baldrick]

When's the movie adaptation coming out?

[Tamanoir]

That was an amazing story !

Thanks for sharing !

[Cowboy Karimov]

I thought this was going to be a creepypasta.

[peener weener]

god bless the dongs. I know now to respect legends

[BANRYU]

Hah. I know what that's like, I had a moment like this with my own lady. On a whim she decided to play Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles with me, so we played together for a while, and then together beat it for the first time ever. I knew everything about the game except the final dungeon and final boss, and boy was it satisfying.

Games are always better with friends, even better with signiff others.

[Elieson]

This story.

Tears.

My mantears are crying

[FrostyFireMage]

Moral of the story: Gen 1 has terrible AI.

Still an entertaining story doe. kudos

[Sunshine]

I am inspired by this story. Thank you for taking the time to share it with us. Your dedication and determination shall be remembered for generations to come. And above all.

Welcome.

To

The

HALL OF FAME