Screenshot SB plays a POKEMON HACK FROM HELL [Complete!]

[charlie_]

OH GOD I THOUGHT THE GIANT EXPOSITION DUMPS WERE DONE

[spoiler=THE FETCH QUEST BEGINS]

I didn't realise that I changed my screenshot button, so I missed me talking to Nicolas (WHY) and getting this.

SCREW YOU I'VE BEEN GOOD AT UPDATING THIS RECENTLY

Then why did they all KILL THEMSELVES FOR NO FUCKING REASON

Please, get to the fucking point.

Maybe "you" could "stop" "talking" like "this" "because" it's really "annoying".

You're a dick Chaoman.

I have no idea why we didn't come to stop you blowing this place up sooner, but whatever.

I don't see how KILLING AN ENTIRE WORLD is being "too nice for your own good".

I don't think it's ever been mentioned. At all.

So nope.

*Let me repeat what I just said, but make the explanation more long winded!

STOP TALKING ALREADY HOLY SHIT

BECAUSE WE NEEDED THE GAME TO DRAG ON FOR LONGER

This is a significant fucking oversight. I'll talk about WHY it is later on.

Hey, Chaomega?

Nobody cares.

Basically you'll kill this world if you get bored?

You're fucking horrible.

I'll go anywhere, as long as it's away from you.

Anyway, the problem I mentioned earlier is...

THAT YOU CAN FUCKING TOSS IT

ITEMS THAT YOU PROBABLY NEED TO BEAT THE GAME

A+ GAME DESIGN 10/10 WOULD DRAFT AGAIN

Anyway, if you want to beat this game WITHOUT WANDERING AROUND FOR HOURS you need to use a walkthrough because the fucking stones gave up. Lovely.

Currently, the name of the game is wandering aimlessly through caves.

Why are there rocks smash rocks everywhere? They're in every room, they're annoying as hell and all they do is slow us down.

Uh...

Hey there?

SORRY KELDEO GOTTA KILL YOU

Or it's wild and we can catch it.

I love save states.

Two down, six to go.

By the way, this is here to demonstrate how broken the world map is. I SURE WANT TO GO TO THE DESERT AND WEATHER INSTITUTE.

The place I actually need to go isn't even on the map which is dumb as hell.

And I found this completely by accident.

I'd talk about the sprite, but the name says it all.

Well uh... that saved some time for later I guess?

Now to go after the fragment I was actually trying to find in the first place.

But first, what the heck is this meant to be?

After MORE RUNNING AROUND IN CAVES...

We get here.

NEXT TIME: COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT.

[Lance Masayoshi]

I don't even what the fuck

[Ice Sage]

A+ game design

what the hell kind of plot is this

[charlie_]

I'm beginning to think that EARN BACK OF ALL YOUR GYM BADGES wasn't the low point of this hack.

[spoiler=COMPLETE BULLSHIT]

THIS IS A SERIOUS THREAT BY THE WAY.

PLEASE, YOU'RE TALKING TO THE REAL CHAMPION.

YOU REALLY DON'T

WE COULD JUST TALK

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON

BULLSHIT BOSS BATTLE INBOUND

COMPLETE WITH UNFITTING BATTLE SPRITE

"lol it's just a buizel"

>Solarbeam does that.

Here's the deal with this fight. All of Joseph's Pokemon are cheaters and have hacked base stats (especially HP holy shit) so even though half of them are NFE scrubs they're still ridiculously strong. They're better than my team by a long shot.

See: Ninetales being OHKOed by a water move in the sun.

BUIZEL AND A FLAREON DID THIS

I have nothing to stop this Flareon in the sun except for Perish Song, and Lapras gets OHKOed so I need to put up Flashes and then hope I get lucky first.

SANDSLASH VS NINETALES?

WENT HORRIBLY, ALTHOUGH TBF THAT ONE WAS EXPECTED

VENUSAUR HELP

WELL I PLAYED THAT ONE WELL. (IT DIDN'T KILL FLAAFFY.)

THE MONSTER RETURNS

ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION EVERYTHING HAS DOUBLE TEAM BECAUSE IT MAKES EVERYTHING MORE /DIFFICULT/ RIGHT?

By the way, this is one Leech Seed recovery. And that's not even the max it's healing.

So yeah HP is inflated to hell.

Everything else falls easily after the Flareon is gone (Sandslash came out and died gg) but that fight was stupid as hell.

[spoiler=spoilers]

it's not even the worst.

I don't fucking know. The guide told me to be here, so I am.

You couldn't accept it 30 seconds ago...

KNOW YOUR PLACE.

Much better.

I'm not power hungry at all.

MORE ABOMINATIONS

Surprisingly this is one I don't despise though. Weird...

You mean that all of the legendaries deciding to kill themselves off for no reason had actual consequences? WHO COULD HAVE THOUGHT?

I think it's more that he has a terrible movepool from what I saw.

"who would harm it."

Basically Joseph is trying to be Red, but he'll never be that good. Even if his Pokemon are fucking hacked.

Sorry dude, but I'll probably end up telling Leanna everything anyway despite how much I despise her just because the game wants me to.

I don't recall ever mentioning this but uh... Shaymin sure is safe in the box!

I guess?

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS MEANT TO TALK?

I actually don't hate this design.

I mean, I killed it anyway, but I don't hate it.

I'm not sure how KILLING IT helped but it did! Go me!

THE BEST HOME IN THE WORLD

MY PC BOX

I bet the random safari zone Pokemon are best buds with Satan by now.

Anyway AFTER ALL OF THAT we have to go back to the league and talk to him again. Because we couldn't have had the conversation here.

Sorry dude, maybe if you ACTUALLY TRIED TALKING FIRST I WOULD HAVE.

/effort?

Sure. I'm the best, after all.

FUCKING FINALLY

I dunno why they just gave it away but why the fuck not right???

For no explained reason.

The only feeling it's inspiring in me is rage.

Fuck no! I'm never coming back here again.

I don't know if this actually happens or not, but I can't be bothered to check.

NEXT TIME ON RUBY DESTINY, THE GAMEPLAY GETS EVEN WORSE.

[charlie_]

i can't stop help

[spoiler=RIPCHARD]

Unfortunately, we need to meet with Leanna next.

Living the dream.

Aka: "We can't be bothered to do our jobs LOL"

"Apparently anyway, I don't actually know if we received the report about a potentially strange man who might be in the woods."

I dunno. "May you?"

Also, there's more stuff going on downstairs. I don't know why they have the fucking jail below the ranger's base but why the fuck not???

Despite being master scumhunter, Blitz is sad that someone else caught Stealth first I guess.

This world is fucked with or without the dumb fake legendaries at this point.

MORE BRIGHTER

You mean you're the fuckwit responsible for all of this? Can I kill you at least?

Weren't you prepared to kill for revenge before? That's kind of a pretty big change.

He then completely ignores us for some reason. Thanks, Blitz.

Oh boy, it's Richard.

Richard is so edgy today. Seriously.

Um... okay? I don't care.

We'll see how this goes then.

I have no fucking idea how it helped you at all. You're just full of shit.

And then the battle starts. Out of nowhere.

Thanks game.

I lose a few pokes but it's not too hard. Felinar has a really weird movepool though.

Eventually I manage to kill off everything, but I'm down to 3 pokes I think?

Well, I guess it's over?

JUST KIDDING IT'S TIME FOR ROUND 2

ROUND 2, WITH NO HEALING

I'm not in a great spot, but I manage to pull it off. How?

FUCKING EXPLOSIONS

And... now I have one Pokemon left against six.

This is complete horseshit.

GALVANTULA AREN'T YOU DEAD

Somehow I'm able to use a revive on it and it actually gets it health back?

And then it sort of tears through Richard's team. I don't know how I fucking survived this thing but I'd like to thank Galvantula for being op.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M DOING DUDE

YOU ATTACKED ME

You're right, I don't know. And that's all Jagold's fault.

You think that if he noticed this flaw he would've corrected it but NOPE.

Shouldn't you get like... Xerneas for reviving dead people or something? IDK.

GET READY

FOR HIM TO COMPLETELY FUCKING LOSE IT

Uh... why are you dying?

Literally I have no idea why the fuck he's dying over here. If there was an explanation given, it went right over my head.

I can't even follow along with this mess anymore.

And this thing is still here.

So I guess it's time to put it out of it's misery?

It somehow gained 10 levels between fights, but it still dies in one hit.

Wait nvm cats have 9 lives and I've only taken 4 of them so far.

NEXT TIME ON RUBY DESTINY, ANOTHER CHAIN OF EVENTS THE PLAYER HAS NO WAY OF WORKING OUT ON THEIR OWN

HOORAY

[Jedi]

3 fights in a row.. with no healing

That is absolutely stupid

[Mighty Kamina]

Man, the game doesn't even have the courtesy to heal you. That being said, that's the last we'll see of Richard. Right?

[Psych]

i would literally pay sb to try and nuzlocke this game

[charlie_]

how much

[MRDRHAWK]

about tree fiddy

[Lance Masayoshi]

about tree fiddy

please

[charlie_]

This update might look kind of weird because I uploaded some of these images out of the order I actually did them in because it sort of made more sense. And because Ruby Destiny is generally bad.

[spoiler=A CLUSTEFUCK UPDATE]

TURN AND FACE ME COWARD

jagold is an expert at this scripting thing.

WE NEED THIS TO GET ON A BOAT

DON'T ASK ME WHY ONLY THE CHAMPION CAN GET ON ONE BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T KNOW

Because jagold felt the need to stretch out the game even more. Clearly.

AND FUCK YOU HEVAH NONE OF THE REST OF YOU CAN GET ON BOATS

UNLESS ITS TO THE FUCKING ACADEMY RUINS

By the way I went back there with sound actually turned on (I usually play without and listen to music) and it had the fucking contest theme playing despite the fact there were ruins there. It was hilarious.

NOT PARTICULARLY

...And not!April won't even talk to us yet. Hooray.

BACK TO RANGER BASE UUUUUUUUUUUURGH

But first, what's this thing doing here?

Leanna, he fucking died.

As in, he's dead.

Never coming back.

I don't think you'll need to worry because this game isn't Snakewood.

Still standing here doing nothing. Legit.

Anyway, BACK TO WHAT I WAS MEANT TO BE DOING.

FINALLY

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

aiqhjiduhqdfunwjkmnvknvwuhvu

its so hard to get a good keyboard mash

You mean not!April? Okay.

SPOILERS I DON'T THINK SHE IS

Unless this area is called Sky Path but I have no idea why it would be.

rgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Being psychic, we can immediately figure out who she is.

Paperblade tells me that every year.

Except without the looking part but shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Against my will, yes.

oh god now there's even dialga and palkia

what legendary isn't getting involved in here

Don't worry, trying to find them without a guide is basically impossible. Even with a guide it's still dumb because of JOSEPH AND RICHARD BATTLES but whatever.

Trusting a person you've never met before in your life with something as important as this is a good plan.

That makes uh... five? Six? I've lost count at this point.

SPOILERS

WE'LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE HER AGAIN

I don't know how you'll get in there but okay???

Anyway, I decide to explore this fucked up region some more and...

CELEBI IS JUST HERE

WALKING AROUND LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG

???

It asks you to set the clock, and then ignores the fact that you did it afterwards. Okay???

Anyway, let's look at some of the cities.

We have GENERIC SNOW TOWN #2

None of the doors here work by the way. With no explanation.

Before this game existed? Me too.

Well uh... exploration time I guess?

(Not really it was like a 5x5 dark cave.)

And um... HMs don't really work in this place at all. I couldn't light up a dark cave and can't surf on any of the bodies of water with no explanation given.

(Say hi to Rayquaza my glorified Waterfall slave while he's here by the way!)

BIRCH

WHAT IS WITH THIS PLACE

THESE PEOPLE DON'T LIVE IN GENTO

I...

What?

Chumpy rival Kevin, the guy who started with a level 3 Charmander, was a gym leader?

What the fuck? Why was this never mentioned before and why is it never mentioned again?

Anyway I leave Gento behind now and never come back.

I tried to find some other postgame stuff failed but I found some trees guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Isn't this game great?

Anyway we now have to go back to the FUN TIMES WITH THE PLOT.

Maybe it's leaving you having realised you're completely fucking useless?

I think it hates you.

Hooray for plot convenience!

Not really. This is coming completely out of nowhere and it's really dumb. Just like most of this game.

By the way, that isn't Nicolas in the background, just a guy who looks exactly like him. jagold was really lazy with the rival sprites considering you can get them mixed up with random NPCs!

How many fucking pauses does this conversation need? I thought they were becoming LESS FREQUENT before this update came along and fucked everything up.

I don't. I'm not sure if I want to understand this "plot" though.

Don't cry.

Because nobody will care.

Wow. I was right.

JESUS STOP THE FUCKING PAUSES

I LITERALLY CRINGE EVERY TIME I SEE ONE

Hi. It's nice of you to realise I exist!

I am calling complete bullshit on this.

You'll see soon.

And yet he waited this long to do anything about it? SEEMS LEGIT.

So do I. Even the memory of playing this game is painful.

NEXT TIME ON RUBY DESTINY, MASSIVE WALLS OF TEXT

[Lance Masayoshi]

so now that it hits me

I *think* Joseph is in Skyline, not so sure

So intwining plots ????????

probably

[Psych]

you give the writing too much credit if you think "intertwining" and "plot" is something they can do

or "successful hack"

[Jedi]

All the ellipses, it should be called

Pokemon Ellipses version.

[charlie_]

so now that it hits me

I *think* Joseph is in Skyline, not so sure

So intwining plots ????????

probably

Skyline was disconnected from the Ruby Destiny storyline iirc?

[spoiler=THE MOST TEXT HEAVY UPDATE YET]

This might be the only time in the game I've actually used Waterfall.

Anyway there's a tiny cave and then we reach the peak.

I don't even know WHY we're going after this thing.

Here's Gabrieleon's master, who looks EXACTLY like Claire, right???

She's also probably insane considering she's talking to something that isn't there?

And she doesn't look anything like Claire from the front either...

If you're clueless to what's going on, don't worry! Even though this is the second time I read this conversation it doesn't make any sense to me either.

I wish Gabrieleon would stop screwing around with the pauses.

wait shit I forgot it actually talked

This conversation---------------------------------->

My head

I have nothing to really say here. This sure is dialogue I guess?

Uh...

I still have no idea what's going on, but I'm all for murdering Gabrieleon.

IT ONLY TOOK YOU 20 PICTURES, WHEN YOU WERE STARING RIGHT AT ME FOR THE MAJORITY OF THEM

WHY DOES NOBODY ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE

I think there's a random house in Guardia Town that says Diana's house on it? So I guess after (TooMany) hours of gameplay there's finally an explanation for that.

"Nefari."

Or something like that.

I'm all for killing Gabrieleon, but if it means we create another abomination I am thoroughly against it.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS

I'm still wondering why Gabrieleon didn't just... talk last update instead of using telepathy.

Or why he didn't just talk beforehand.

TOP QUALITY SPRITES

TOP QUALITY RECOLOURS

I mean it's not bad but it's just kind of lazy...

Anyway, the name of the game is NO ABOMINATION MAKES IT OUT ALIVE so...

Fuck Diana's request. (You have to do this.)

We goofed, except not really.

...I fainted it?

Maybe Diana beat me to nuzlocking the game or something.

Uh...

I don't know how that happened. I definitely did not push her off the cliff or anything.

(If I did, I would've pushed Gabrieleon too.)

I didn't expect to be in a place like this, but with RUBY DESTINY'S GREAT PLOT anything is possible.

She stands over there, pretending she knows what's going on.

Oh.

She's a ninja?

Or it's more bullshit plot points. Gabrieleon goes back to being silent for some reason.

Or it could be telepathy.

Also I dunno where Gabrieleon fucked off to but who actually cares?

And then we get warped to Rintah town, and need to find out more. Hooray.

Despite hating him. Seems legit.

I DON'T KNOW WHY THESE EXIST

Neither do I, but the ~plot~ dictates that I do.

So it's time for THRILLING CONVERSATIONS WITH OLD PEOPLE

I thought his family was DEAD

-

It's not so legendary in person, trust me.

You'd think it wouldn't follow Diana either considering it hates her but yeah...

Unfortunately, Claire is still shit.

Because ~why not~ right?

So it's like... a really dumb love triangle?

STROPPY TEENAGER MODE: ACTIVATE

And also insane. But mostly strong and confident. She didn't need no man!

...Because the abomination was already there to fuck everything up.

Didn't you kill her?

I don't care about which chump came first.

To get her back or something? IDK.

The smartest.

...Why did they try to actually kill the thing? Are they fucking morons or just bloodthirsty?

Uh... that was way more trouble than it was worth.

NEXT TIME ON RUBY DESTINY, I PROBABLY REARRANGE THE ORDER IN THINGS HAPPEN AGAIN

because damn postgame is a clusterfuck.

[Lance Masayoshi]

@SB

Honestly, not sure. But I do know, that Joseph is in Skyline, and he follows a plot importance there

you give the writing too much credit if you think "intertwining" and "plot" is something they can do

or "successful hack"

not gonna lie, Skyline is the least bad you can get from jagold

however, you are correct and wrong, I don't give any credit to this game, I hate it with a burning passion

but you are correct that it is neither of those three things

also what the fuck how long is this game

Edited March 3, 2015 by Shadowfrost Zenbiniar

[charlie_]

I ALMOST POSTED THIS IN A MAFIA THREAD

[spoiler=THE CALM]

So uh, I went looking for bonus things here. I'm probably not showing all of it because the guide is vague and altogether not very helpful but we'll see?

Sadly, I don't think it's Kyogre.

As opposed to just sitting there before.

THESE IMAGES SURE ARE VISUALLY SIMILAR THANKS GOOGLE

the fuck is that name

i killed it

Anyway we go exploring and...

I don't know how, but we're apparently in Johto now.

The Whirl Islands are a lot less complicated than I remember them...

Oh god dammit.

This is the real one.

NICOY

NOT NICKY

NICOY

GRANMA

why can nobody here speak

We are NOT.

Yeah, I still don't know how I did that.

Adding in a "Hm" doesn't make these things any better.

Well, considering anyone can just walk in you're not very good at it?

For some reason there are a lot of Lugias in the Ruby Destiny canon. I guess it's copying the anime or something?

STOP DOING THAT

Unwillingly, but sure.

Um...

What.

They're legendaries. There was only meant to be one in the first place...

So many screens

So little said

So many fucks not being given

I, for one, am not convinced that taking away a BABY LUGIA (yes it's a baby) is the solution to the problem but what do I know???

I don't know it evolves by the way. Don't ask me.

Anyway we can also go to Cianwood for some reason, but there's nothing to do there.

TILE GLITCHES AHOY

Just like in Gento, none of the doors actually work.

And after that I figured out how to reach Ho-oh.

This cave is awkward as fuck to and considering the instructions mention that this is in the far north of Green Leaf when you can go a lot further I got confused. Thanks jagold.

I don't know if I mentioned this yet, but EVERY cave in this game is called Mineral Cave.

It's like Dark Cave but it's not even fully connected up.

This looks nothing like Ilex Forest.

But either way, this was about a minute straight of running while I'm going at about 4x speed. WHY IS THIS AREA SO FUCKING LONG THERE'S NOTHING HERE AT ALL.

Ho-oh is chilling at the end for no reason.

...I don't fancy my chances on catching it though.

And Ninetales OHKOed with a crit I think so yeah...

Gabrieleon is apparently in the water gym city somewhere but I don't really care.

I guess I can finish off plot stuff this update then?

It's a good thing you concentrated on that instead of looking into the suspicious individual who could've been dangerous! Clearly you have great priorities.

This game.

I'd rather not say.

FUCK

WHAT DID I JUST SAY GAME

WHY DID YOU DO THAT

No, I'm just fucking with you, please don't show up in the finale.

WHY

Only the endless staircase can save me now...

So we need to meet our super plot relevant friend Patty now. I'm sure you all remember her contributions to the plot like... standing in place, battling us once and generally not doing anything.

As a result, she's probably the best rival in the game.

Why are we going around and telling random people this?

Uh...

I don't think this matters?

EVERYONE HAS A FUCKING FRAGMENT

Oh, I guess we're done then. Neat.

This is Maizono level trustworthy. Clearly she's not secretly a villain.

I didn't! I blame GBA limitations I guess?

Or Patty is just high.

WHOA SHE MOVED

So uh... yeah we're near the end. Knowing that the final battle is complete bullshit, I have last minute preparations to make.

I retrieved Felinar from the box, taught it a bunch of moves that don't suck and then evolved it into Cresselia. I needed a sixth mon, so...

I also used Rare Candies and everything is at 100 now, if you couldn't tell by Ninetales earlier in the update because some of these screens are out of order.

NEXT TIME ON RUBY DESTINY

ENDGAME.

Edited March 4, 2015 by SB.

[Jedi]

So much... Not making sense.. My brain hurts.

[X-Naut]

A cat evolves into a waterfowl. What.

[Jedi]

A cat evolves into a waterfowl. What.

Well in normal pokemon a fish evolves into an octopus.. But yeaaaah

[charlie_]

A cat evolves into a waterfowl. What.

It's meant to be like a form change (like Shaymin and Skymin) except it's Ruby Destiny so it sucks.

IN OTHER NEWS I THINK I BROKE THE ENDGAME EVENT. I am not amused.

[Lance Masayoshi]

thank god

[Ice Sage]

what is with all the ellipses in this game

god this game is so bad

[charlie_]

ITS OKAY I FIXED IT

I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT BUT I FIXED IT

But imgur is being dumb and I should probably get some work done so I doubt I'll get this done tonight.