Screenshot SB plays a POKEMON HACK FROM HELL [Complete!]

[Lance Masayoshi]

Lapras is true hero.

him and like, 20 revives too, are heroes

[SB.]

I feel surprisingly mellow after this update.

[spoiler=HELL AND EARTH, PART 4]

I'm not sure where Gaia and Mark went. I think Giratina ate them or something?

I think we're already established how evil you are. Shut up.

Any explanation as to why you let Team Earth pretend to control you?

No?

Okay.

The key word here is 'wild'. I let something faint.

It has Shadow Tag, but...

Still completely wrecked.

This is my victory cry, if you didn't tell. The game counts it as us winning, because 10/10 design.

It's only silent because this game has drained all enthusiasm from me.

MORE FAKE LEGENDARIES

WE SURE NEEDED THOSE

This sounds suspiciously like Ashunera, but whatever.

It sure is convenient we had that vision for no reason, right?

What the fuck happened to Shaymin anyway? I need a sixth Pokemon.

I don't get how that even works? If the timelines are different, how can they co-exist?

AGAIN WITH THE FUCKING EYES

I don't think this was ever explained either, but yeah.

Even the characters are starting to understand how shit the plot is.

This is a really awkward sentence.

I think I'm gonna place a bet on 4 of these ellipsis screens this update? Although that might be an optimistic considering I'm not even a quarter of the way through my pictures yet.

Does this mean the run is over for real this time?

I agree. This world should have never been conceived.

I don't know how it's fake but uh... Yeah. Whatever works.

I don't think this does anything.

MORE OMINOUS VOICES

LOOK OUT GUYS

THE TRUE EVIL APPROACHES

A PAIR OF EYES

Apparently Giratina isn't evil after all or something. I don't really care though.

Why us instead of the MULTIPLE DRAGON GODS?

READY FOR ANOTHER STUPID BOSS GUYS

And we can use the same exploit as before due to it being wild, but Zah is a joke comparitively.

WATER PULSE BEST MOVE ON LEVEL 80

It dies to sleep seeding eventually.

I like how we still have no explanation for why we've been fighting it randomly all game, but RUBY DESTINY GAMING

And now the worst legendaries ever are back.

Rayquaza too I guess.

I don't think that sentence makes any sense.

Please don't. I don't want to do this any more.

tl;dr PEOPLE DIE WHEN THEY ARE KILLED

Satan incarnate over there wasn't enough already?

And the textbox broke. Good stuff.

I'm more surprised nobody noticed. There has to have been some sign of it, right?

To be fair the knights have been completely useless and I don't blame him.

Where are they now? This game needs more legendaries that don't suck.

Again, no explanation given, but I think I've just come to suspect it at this point.

PLEASE STOP CALLING THEM MY FRIENDS

also 'treainer'.

FUCK

NO

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME

Rayquaza is so fucking lazy.

Or maybe he just doesn't want to put up with this game's bullshit for any longer. It's hard to tell.

Isn't she dead?

"What a chump."

That would probably be helpful.

Wait, what? Why the heck are we here now?

I'm guessing it was because Jagold couldn't think of a way to end the scene and just took a really lazy way out of it or something? Because I have no idea why we're here right now.

Anyway, time to spawn back in our hometown, right?

NOPE WE'RE IN GRASS GYM TOWN FOR NO REASON

PRO PROGRAMMING

NEXT TIME ON RUBY DESTINY: I think we get our last badge. Hopefully we don't lose it...

[blah the Prussian]

None of this game makes any goddamn sense. Shame; it had some good ideas.

[Jedi]

Best design, allowing you to run.

[X-Naut]

2/10 Zah kill should've used a Poke Doll

[Lance Masayoshi]

fun fact Chaomega is the starter for the fourth game

i think

[Dandragon]

Well I think this clip is fitting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFpDT1ZgP7c

[Tryhard]

what is happening

Zah reminds me of Giygas, but squished by a steamroller.

[MRDRHAWK]

victor zahsz

this hack has some hilarious QUALITY in it

not like that wasn't evident already but holy shit this is bad

[SB.]

Windows 8 and Chrome conspired together to delay this update considerably.

[spoiler=THE NIGHTMARE CONTINUES]

SO GUESS WHAT THIS MEANS

YOU NOW GET TO STUMBLE AROUND BLINDLY WITH NO IDEA WHERE TO GO

GOOD JOB JAGOLD

After consulting a fucking guide I go to the Tower of Guidance to meet Ashera.

Wait, that's not right.

Anyway, this place is no longer SM64 endless staircase, so we can go up!

I'm less excited than I sound.

I KNOW WE'RE FLOATING IN SPACE ANYWAY

BUT THE DOOR DOESN'T FUCKING GO ANYWHERE

HOW DOES THIS PLACE EVEN WORK THOUGH SERIOUSLY

I couldn't care less about proving my worth to you.

Basically, it's a load of horseshit.

Yeah, original!Satan is an old friend of my dad's.

"How, you might ask? IDK LOL JUST FUCKING GO WITH IT"

Being the contrarian I am, I end up doing something else COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT AT FIRST.

"yeah sure it'll be easy"

LEVEL

FUCKING

68

WHAT

DESPERATION TACTICS

how do i kill this fucking thing

oh

yeah that's one way I guess.

And now back to the dumb cave.

I don't know why there's a bridge in here but whatever.

Oh boy this place.

AFTER AN INCREDIBLY LONG WALK

Satan apologising is a weird sight.

By the way, the mugs are a new level of terrible here imo.

All good things must come to an end.

I missed a screen or something.

So uh, no legendary battle?

"I'm on the title screen and everything despite being less relevant than you all game!"

For no real reason.

SO HERE'S THE CHOICE

GIANT SATANIC DRAGON THING OR TINY... WHATEVER THE FUCK SHAYMIN IS

ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?

Shaymin da best.

Giratina, having had enough of this game's shit for a lifetime, fucks off home.

I want to, but...

LEVEL 5 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Anyway Alice has now MAGICALLY APPEARED when she wasn't here before, so we can fight her.

EAT SOMETHING JESUS YOU'RE SKINNY

Yes, Jagold is still lazy as fuck with the sprites.

So many abominations.

And Girafarig, but that thing sucks anyway so who cares?

Anything to put this demon of a game to rest.

I don't FEEL particularly wise after subjecting myself to almost a year of this game, but yeah.

I think this is Calm Mind, which is okay I guess.

NEXT TIME: LEVEL SPIKES

[Darros]

oh my god its still not over

[SB.]

I'm going to have to actually play the game again soon.

Help me.

[spoiler=ENDING 2/3]

If I was a patient person, this would be the place where I would grind for Rare Candies.

Anyone who knows me will be able to tell you I am NOT a patient person, so I just used an AR code as means to an end.

So these are my current levels.

And in Victory Road...

THIS IS WILD

THIS IS A RANDOM TRAINER

I STILL BEAT HIM

And then ran immediately back to the Pokemon Center.

RARE CANDY TIME

WHAT IS BALANCE

I'M NOT EVEN THINK IT DOES RECOIL DAMAGE BECAUSE JAGOLD IS TERRIBLE AT FIXING THESE DESCRIPTIONS

Fun facts: I'm still underleveled!

And no, you don't get to see my trump card yet.

Onto the Elite...

SEVEN FUCKING TEEN.

"I NEED TO EXTEND THE GAME MORE LETS HAVE 17 FUCKING ELITE 4 MEMBERS WHY NOT"

You can have the nurse heal you three times and that's it.

I didn't take screens of these battles much because well... it's pretty much just a standard beatdown. The bird is still an abomination though.

Seriously. How long were we meant to spend grinding for this if we played it legit. Weeks?

I THINK THIS THING TANKED AN EXPLOSION

FUCKING HELL

HI STEVEN LIGHT (these edits sure are good).

You have to fight him last, and he's even more overleveled than the rest.

TOTALLY A DRAGON

Anyway, because that wasn't enough, CHAMPION TIME

You would've thought that the Elites and Champion would at least get like... a room that isn't a cave.

Also Jimmy's the champion now, but who cares?

I thought you said you didn't like using Devihel in battles? #consistency

I don't care about being the strongest. The only reason I'm playing this game is next level masochism.

I still don't think we actually do anything to guard the fucking Pokemon. Nicolas is useless, you don't even seem to like Devihel and all Claire does is angst about hers.

Why do you even care about us again? You've just been a dick since we've met you so uh...

FINAL BATTLE TIME

JK MORE BAD PLOT INCOMING

Fucking up your sentences, apparently.

GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS KIDS

FUCKING MIND CONTROL TIME

BUT THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING

LIKE, THEY WERE LITERALLY ALL USELESS

I'm mostly just showing this screen to say "this is still happening and it's terrible".

Original!Satan foiled the plan of New!Satan or something.

"Did you like my villainous gloat? I've been working on it!"

FUCKING STEVEN PLS GO

He's uh... actually not that much tougher than the dudes before him mostly.

Either that, or Drought!Ninetales is too good.

...It's probably too good.

Anyway, here's Devihel himself, who didn't even bother to get to level 100. He'll regret that.

He kind of rips through my team though, so I need THE TRUMP CARD

THE RABBIT OF DOOM IS HERE TO HUMILIATE YOU

GET REKT

Sadly, he's right.

I'd ask you why you want revenge, but I don't actually care and think the explanation would probably be terrible and make me want to scream.

Aaaaaaaaaaand Devihel disappears.

MIND CONTROL?

YEP, BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH OF THAT FOR ONE FUCKING GAME

Through the power of MAGICAL PLOT BULLSHIT. ROLL WITH IT.

That's like... a Dangan Ronpa level stupid name. Maybe even worse. And I like DR.

I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO RESCUE RANGERS

PLEASE

I THINK I NEED THE SAME

NEVER MIND I'VE ONLY BEEN BACK ONE DAY

SECOND ENDING, GET

NEXT TIME: BLOATED FETCHQUEST #1 BEGINS

[Lance Masayoshi]

oh god what even my head hurts from this plot

[Jedi]

oh god what even my head hurts from this plot

Can it even be accurately called a plot? :P

[Lance Masayoshi]

more like

a tangled up snake, trying to find its tail

[JSND Alter Dragon Boner]

thats a next level wtf if i ever seen one

[MRDRHAWK]

THE RABBIT LMFAO

IT WAS WORTH IT

[Psych]

so you're gonna nuzlocke this after right

[SB.]

This game's plot still makes more sense than Snakewood's, and it kind of terrifies me.

Especially since it gets even dumber in the post-league shit!

[spoiler=EVERYONE DIES IN THE END]

I assume this is for Shaymin/Giratina? Unfortunately I'm poor as fuck and am not using them anyway, but whatever. I don't know what this dude needs the money for anyway since he basically seems to be the servant of Ruby Destiny's fucked up version of a god? But my head hurts trying to figure it out, so I won't.

And in order to keep the peace, guess what we're doing?

GOING ON A MURDER SPREE OF ALL THE ABOMINATIONS

Starting with this one, and I have no idea what it's talking about.

You can thanks me by destroying that hideous mug. Seriously.

For no given reason.

Why are you the ONLY THING this applied to again?

EVIL TWINS

WE NEED MORE CLICHES TO FILL THE REST OF THE GAME COME ON GUYS

WHEN'S THE REVELATION THAT PATTY IS THE MASTERMIND COMING ALONG

That name is 3edgy5me.

SEALING THE EVIL TWIN IN YOU?

HOW THE FUCK DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE

Do you mean that they all died?

Lucky.

(Spoilers, they didn't.)

As we've seen, Angeallen is a fucking useless god thing.

I think this is the Ruby Destiny 1 protag, but I don't care enough to check.

How did they NOT realise they were basically worshipping the third coming of Pokemon Satan?

Because Light's grandparents already decided to fuck shit up.

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WORKS.

WHY NOT JUST KILL THE FUCKING THING?

This reads wrong, but I'm not sure if it's my fault or jagold's. But it's not like I haven't blamed him before, so I'll do it again.

Also hooray for You Are The Chosen One for no reason being dropped on us \o/

Scan them for what? You're not a Rolecop, are you?

WHY IS THIS.

DO I LOOK LIKE A CALM AND HAPPY PERSON TO YOU?

AM I REALLY THE BEST PERSON TO ASK ABOUT HOW NOT TO RAGE

Hooray for fucking convenient timing. I hate this game.

WHY DOES BREATERNA WANT TO KILL US AGAIN

NO EXPLANATION? OKAY

Killing two abominations with one stone.

Why did Deazone need to even exist in the first place though?

PLEASE NO

I'M NOT GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS SHIT AGAIN

NOBODY WILL BE SACRIFICED TO SUSTAIN THIS ABOMINATION'S EXISTENCE.

EVEN NICOLAS, DESPITE HOW MUCH I DESPISE HIM.

We had to get one in, didn't we?

Help him kill all of the abominations for no reason? Can do.

Did you... not know it was going to die? Weird.

I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THIS

I don't think she's ever relevant to the plot again. Why did the two of you need to be sisters again?

It'll enjoy a nice long life in the box.

In hindsight, I should've taken Deazone to mock everything that just happened, but I think I just wanted to get through this shit.

NEXT TIME, MORE THINGS DIE

[NobodiePichu]

needs more dunsparce abomination

[SB.]

It really doesn't.

[spoiler=HAPPY BIRTHDAY JB]

I DON'T REMEMBER WHERE THIS IS BUT WHATEVER.

MAKING HOLES IN CAVES SURE IS EXCITING

I CAN

WHY DO YOU THINK I UPLOADED THIS 2 DAYS AGO BEFORE GETTING AROUND TO ACTUALLY WRITING THE UPDATE

It's all in a day's work in the fucked up world of Ruby Destiny.

EPIC

Considering JB is 8 years old this dialogue probably isn't out of character for him.

Wow, somebody is actually acknowledging that.

I'm really not sure why you exist in this game honestly but whatever.

NOPE JUST THE RABBIT ABOMINATION

I think this is the only time JB is relevant to plot stuff all game. Wow.

This is definitely not exactly like Groudon's cave in Emerald with a different tileset. Nope.

Does this mean I can go now?

GOD DAMMIT SATAN NOT NOW.

WHY DID YOU NOT JUST DO THIS BEFORE

WHILE WE WERE STILL LEVEL 5

IT WOULD'VE SAVED ME A LOT OF PAIN

I'M SO SCARED HALP ME

I'd rather be doing the burning, thanks. Maybe we can team up after all?

JB SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL OVER HERE

THE GROWN UPS ARE TALKING

That's... literally what he just said.

ABSOLUTELY POWERFUL

For once, this is a decent reaction.

"be harmed" or something like that.

I'm not sure if this is an accident or JB turned into a Pokemon.

Either is believable at this point.

Seriously?

ARE YOU AN IDIOT?

DON'T ANSWER THAT

You're not David Attenborough, please stop.

So he... destroys the floor.

Well then.

This is just unfortunate.

Why are there stairs here?

HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD?

Strength boulders here are dumb but it doesn't really matter I guess?

I FEEL THE SAME WAY, ABOMINATION

SATAN KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE WORLD YUP YUP

YOU WANTED TO FLOOD THE FUCKING REGION WITH MAGMA AND KILL ALL THE POKEMON IN IT

HOW ARE YOU ANY FUCKING DIFFERENT?

Well, I don't exactly want to play Ruby Destiny forever, do I?

Spoilers: I beat him.

GWAH

As a side note, the fog clearing as Devihel gets angry is actually kind of cool. It doesn't excuse the terrible writing though.

"I AM 100% JUSTIFIED AND TOTALLY NOT SATAN."

THE VOICE OF REASON

FROM AN EIGHT YEAR OLD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JB

"Don't you use your... logic on me!"

>Wild

I could run but I kill it anyway. It wasn't hard.

Create the "human ball" and then we'll talk.

AND DON'T COME BACK.

I would hardly call Devihel a Guardian at this point.

DUDE HE WILL USE YOU TO DESTROY THE FUCKING WORLD

THIS IS NOT SMART

Also uh... Why is Devihel dying anyway? There's no explanation given for this.

Well, you're Satan and everything so I guess everyone back in hell will be glad to see you.

I don't. He's a fucker.

Then EARTHQUAKES I think.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME BACK

NEXT TIME ON RUBY DESTINY: THE LAST OF THE ABOMINATION DRAGONS DIE

and rayquaza too rip

Edited February 24, 2015 by SB.

[Lance Masayoshi]

i was gonna say

"Twist Mountain is that you?" From the first few screenshots

[TheMoniker]

Well, I just read the entire LP over the span of a few days. And now my brain is fried. Hope you can read the "ending" of the game and keep your sanity intact! Although at this point, I'm wondering if the hack will EVER end...

[SB.]

We're getting pretty close from what I know. Sadly, I also know that the plot gets even worse than this.

[spoiler="GOD"SLAYING]

Welcome to terrible sprites inc. Seriously, how lazy can you get?

So now we go to uh... this place that I think was in Rescue Rangers? I'm not sure.

I don't have any pictures of the interior so it was probably boring and I'm going to skip to the top!

Cool, I can wait for Angellean to die for no reason, push Nicolas off the cliff and then get away free. Let's do it.

Neither can I. I've been waiting for this moment for so long.

-Extract from "How to add filler dialogue", by destinedjagold.

Who gives a fuck?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING BETTER ABOUT THIS GAME

YOU'RE DISAPPOINTING ME AGAIN.

And this WON'T fuck over the region like your disappearance did last time, and the time before that? I find it hard to believe but if it gets Nicolas killed then I'm all for making a few sacrifices.

I no longer care to hide my disgust.

I thought that was an evil laugh at first and was extremely confused.

It wouldn't be the dumbest plot twist this game has pulled, anyway.

Well, there's only one song that can be played after SUCH A SAD DEATH.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YCN-a0NsNk

God dammit.

Well, I can still kill Nicolas, right?

NO HE NOTICED ME

I think I missed a screen here? I'm sure this was meant to be something deep and profound but was actually extremely dumb in true Ruby Destiny fashion.

I hope you drown.

I sure hope not!

I don't actually know if we do at this point.

Something I just realised:

WHY THE FUCK IS RAYQUAZA CHILLING IN A CAVE INSTEAD OF SKY PILLAR OR SOME SIMILAR PLACE

SERIOUSLY

We don't need to repeat this. I'm aware.

I can see it for Rayquaza, but I'm not sure why anyone would sacrifice themselves for the rest of these jokers.

"But we're the good guys, honest!"

You could just like, you know, die?

I'm sure glad we sacrifice people routinely to the god who can't be fucked to get out of bed.

Are you sure you don't want me to teach you how to speak properly? It's better late than never.

I'll take that as a no.

Easy mode.

I'm pretty sure you've asked this already.

And that's that.

NEXT TIME ON RUBY DESTINY... I'm not actually sure, and it scares me.

[Grace]

the "plot"