Your most shameful moment here

[Parrhesia]

Fun fact, my Serenes Forest shitposting career was nearly put to an early end when I straight-up asked for a ROM in like, my first week or two. (I hadn't read the Code of Conduct lmao)

Fun fact #2: someone PMed me it.

Not really my most embarrassing, though - Unironically Joining The Empires was probably the worst part of the cocktail of bad things that was 15-year old me.

[blah the Prussian]

Fun fact, my Serenes Forest shitposting career was nearly put to an early end when I straight-up asked for a ROM in like, my first week or two. (I hadn't read the Code of Conduct lmao)

Fun fact #2: someone PMed me it.

Not really my most embarrassing, though - Unironically Joining The Empires was probably the worst part of the cocktail of bad things that was 15-year old me.

What is The Empires? Is that like a Belgian apologist forum or something?

[SaltyBucket]

As a baby, i managed to get the tip of my finger bleeding and decided to write some weird stuff on the wall

...my parents still think im possessed by a demon...

[DarkDestr0yer61]

On this site, I haven't done anything too shameful. I accidentally double posted and got a warning on like my 2nd week on this site. So I PMed Red Fox asking why I got a warning, then she said I violated the site's code of conduct. Then I thought "wait. This website has rules?"

Edited March 16, 2016 by DarkDestr0yer61

[Esau of Isaac]

Every post I make on this site is perfection incarnate. Sometimes I just slap my keyboard for a few minutes and get frustrated that it keeps spitting out such sublime content.

[Shadowess]

when i was first here i went on about how i hated this character and this ship and just

past me no

especially because now I like that character lmao

[Knight]

I've said a lot of things that are just dumb, jokes that didn't work, arguments that made no sense. I don't think there's anything on this site that is particularly awful though. I hope that, at the very least, if I've left an impression at all on people, it's a slightly positive one.

[blah the Prussian]

Every post I make on this site is perfection incarnate. Sometimes I just slap my keyboard for a few minutes and get frustrated that it keeps spitting out such sublime content.

Oh please, I read your arguments on the Atomic Bomb! Those were crap, man.

[Espinosa]

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

[Sentacotus]

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Wow I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Whatever you do just don't eat sugarfree Haribo gummy bears. On the plus side you still have creative writing to fall back on. Don't know if that will help in this scenario but you've got that going for you.

[Lord Raven]

dont u dare talk shit about haribo gummi bears

[Noma9]

dont u dare talk shit about haribo gummi bears

http://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears-5LBS/dp/B00CMS97YS#customerReviews

[Lord Raven]

i can safely say this has never happened to me, they're a good luck charm for me

[maybe]

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

i'm not familiar with this copypasta but it seems like a pretty good one

Edited March 19, 2016 by maybe

[Sentacotus]

i can safely say this has never happened to me, they're a good luck charm for me

Well then you are truly blessed.

[Loki Laufeyson]

i can't think of a time where i was just a huge douche to someone that in retrospect didn't deserve it, but i've said plenty of stupid things here. unfortunately, those posts have been lost to time cause the site got hacked around this time several years ago. so naturally i can't remember.

i'm open to others pointing out my shameful moments though lol.

also the above doesn't mean i've been an ass only to those that deserve it, but i just can't remember.

pretty much. Im really drawing a blank. I do remember saying something really mean to a guy here in my first month of membership. We made up and junk and he cool, but it was a really mean thing i wish not to repeat. (that dude doesnt post anymore :()

Every post I make on this site is perfection incarnate. Sometimes I just slap my keyboard for a few minutes and get frustrated that it keeps spitting out such sublime content.

[Parrhesia]

What is The Empires? Is that like a Belgian apologist forum or something?

I wish. Think HHH, but from like 2007-2011 and with some weird stats-based shit on the side.

[Esau of Isaac]

Oh please, I read your arguments on the Atomic Bomb! Those were crap, man.

They were sublime. I understand your jealousy, even though I disapprove of it.

[blah the Prussian]

They were sublime. I understand your jealousy, even though I disapprove of it.

Jealousy? I know not the sensation, as I know I am the pinnacle of human existence. Speaking of that, before I was rationally royalist, I was the pinnacle of moral superiority, according to my member title at least. God I was a dumbass.

[Tamanoir]

When I arrived here I had no fricking idea how Internet worked, so I was incredibly naive (even more than now.).

I was 19, but that didn't mean crap.

My first FtFF post was.. completely disjointed and ridiculous. NOthing truly ofensive (well, except to basic human intelligence...) but I still feel shame now just thinking about it.

Then, the problem is I take everything far much seriously, which means me feeding the trolls (I had the same birthrate as the Troll Couple, sadly.) and making stupid choices based on impulse. My only post on the FE4 Thread is me aggressing AstraLunaSol based on some random bullshit. Even the resident Troll/Weirdo was more mature than me back then and he became my friend here (which leads to me making a true ass of myself trying to defend him.)

Though I also acted liek a little shit not that long ago (it must be 1-2 years ago, but still.) No need to give details about this. I was absolutely awfull.

Well, at least, slowly but surely I learn from my mistakes.

I still try to participate to debate even if I'm absolutely awfull at it (but that's how you learn. See above ) and still makes incredibly stupid jokes (but at least now I assume it fully.)

Otherwise... IRL.
When I was younger, I refused to use bathroom outside my house. I wasn't even a neat freak, but I found it disgusting.
Yet, no matter how strng willpower is, a man still have urges.

And I was finally punished for my hubris when I... peed on class.

In High School.

[Kieran Knightley]

Well, I have only been here for a day, so I can't provide any fun moments on my most shameful moment here, so I'll provide a most shameful moment of the day (I experience at least 5 daily).

So about 3 hours ago, I'm working on some stuff with a friend in a local coffee shop, and we were talking about her (now ex) boyfriend. The other day we were out and she ordered an IPA called "dumb[expletive] indian", and her ex-boyfriend is Indian, so we were having a good giggle about that because it was just really fitting. Anyways, I brought it back up today while we were talking at the coffee shop sure enough, I said the beer name out loud ("haha that was so funny when you got the dumb indian the other day"), and I seemed to have forgotten an Indian man was sitting right next to us. There's also, like, literally no way he couldn't have heard me. And there is no way in the universe that you can really explain yourself despite innocently talking about a beer name!!!

Anyways, virtually my entire life is a shamefest and a movie should definitely be made about it.

[Moblin Major General]

I read too far into a Shaman post Not to bash Shaman, I just failed to realize that his viewpoint was seen as unilaterally uninformed and politically incorrect... not that I'm always PC.

[Busterman64]

On this site, I haven't done anything too shameful. I accidentally double posted and got a warning on like my 2nd week on this site. So I PMed Red Fox asking why I got a warning, then she said I violated the site's code of conduct. Then I thought "wait. This website has rules?"

Similar thing kinda happened to me. When I just joined(last year, June), I read the rules and stuff before doing anything(just to be safe). Less than a week later...I double posted because of something I forgot to add in my original post......but then again, I didn't know how to Edit posts at the time. (Herp Derp! ;P )

[garrisoncade_3576]

Joining the internet in general.

The internet ruined my life.

[Esau of Isaac]

Joining the internet in general.

The internet ruined my life.

Now now, look at the glass half full. What if your life was going to suck anyways?