SF's "Write Your Butt Off" II - Return of Writer's Block

[Rapier]

I had issues thinking about something that fit within the theme, too. My ideas simply didn't seem interesting.

With that said, it reminds me of a very trippy chapter (redundancy, yeah) from Tails Gets Trolled.

[DarthR0xas]

Man, I kinda liked my idea for this prompt. Except writer's block struck hard meaning I couldn't figure out a good way to end the story, and then just kinda completely forgot about it since school started back up. Oh well, there's always next time.

Anyways, the critiques.

@TheSilentChloey

Spoiler

Maybe it's that I never played Skyrim before, and barely know anything about it, but I was just kinda confused the entire time. This wasn't helped by the story, which feels like it places you in the middle to end part, skipping the beginning. That can work, but it's really hard to and I feel you missed the mark. Places were mentioned, characters were brought up, and relationships between said characters were kinda hard to pick up on when they're referencing others who I don't know about. Also, all the events that occurred seem absurd. One or two in isolation? Absolutely, but all in a row? I find that hard to believe. Then again, I've barely had a sip of alcohol in my life so maybe that's a common occurrence. As per usual, it was written great aside from having to know a lot of the source material to get it

@Jotari

Spoiler

No clue if this is a part of a previously made story, or some other fandom, but it was very intriguing. Apocalyptic scenario, made me think of FF6, probably because I'm currently playing through it. That said, the characterization feels somewhat weird. For one, I can't picture these two characters. I mean that in a very literal sense, the only thing I know about both of them is that they're male, there are no other identifying features about them. It isn't even like anonymous's story where I can vaguely picture a character due to occupation and dress, for all I know these are a pair of dwarves wearing frilly pink dresses with a picture of Garfunkel tattooed on their foreheads. And I'm really questioning how this dude who clearly embraces death made it down to be part of the last 24 humans to survive, seems like he'd be one of the first to go. And even if he only gets that way while drunk, if they were on a ship with some dude who had a secret stash both were well aware of, how would K-man not get drunk at least once and then accept death. Just feels off. This specific landscape is well described, although I again feel like there's some context I'm missing, such as who this Angarika fellow? I can assume he's some omnipresent god force or something, but I'm not sure. I wasn't confused the entire time I read it, I quite enjoyed the story while I was deep inside its universe, but it crumbles a bit upon further inspection.

@AnonymousSpeed

Spoiler

I think this story is the best use of the prompt. Jotari had the characters getting drunk, Silent had the effects of a character getting drunk, while you had both. The way that this dude is just ranting allows for us to know all about him in a presumably natural way (again, haven't really had any kind of alcohol, so I think ranting about your problems is something that just naturally happens when drunk based off popular media). You really feel for Ferrous, just kinda has a shite life, but even so still has a sense of honor to him. That said, I'm not a fan of how the story ends. It's just a little too open ended for my tastes. We don't know what the characters will do. Even if we had the faintest idea, it would be better than the idea of Ferrous just trudging around in the snow.

Also, I think this is a mistake, but @Rapier, the poll is set to close today. In about an hour.

[Jotari]

2 hours ago, DarthR0xas said:

 

@Jotari

  Hide contents

No clue if this is a part of a previously made story, or some other fandom, but it was very intriguing. Apocalyptic scenario, made me think of FF6, probably because I'm currently playing through it. That said, the characterization feels somewhat weird. For one, I can't picture these two characters. I mean that in a very literal sense, the only thing I know about both of them is that they're male, there are no other identifying features about them. It isn't even like anonymous's story where I can vaguely picture a character due to occupation and dress, for all I know these are a pair of dwarves wearing frilly pink dresses with a picture of Garfunkel tattooed on their foreheads. And I'm really questioning how this dude who clearly embraces death made it down to be part of the last 24 humans to survive, seems like he'd be one of the first to go. And even if he only gets that way while drunk, if they were on a ship with some dude who had a secret stash both were well aware of, how would K-man not get drunk at least once and then accept death. Just feels off. This specific landscape is well described, although I again feel like there's some context I'm missing, such as who this Angarika fellow? I can assume he's some omnipresent god force or something, but I'm not sure. I wasn't confused the entire time I read it, I quite enjoyed the story while I was deep inside its universe, but it crumbles a bit upon further inspection.

 

Fair criticisms that I don't have any answers for XD It's not part of any prior story or fandom. I just made it all up on the spot in one session. I have no idea what the characters look like or what Angarika is either (though I'm reasonably sure they're not dwarves and Angarika is a female name).

[TheSilentChloey]

4 hours ago, DarthR0xas said:

Man, I kinda liked my idea for this prompt. Except writer's block struck hard meaning I couldn't figure out a good way to end the story, and then just kinda completely forgot about it since school started back up. Oh well, there's always next time.

Anyways, the critiques.

@TheSilentChloey

  Reveal hidden contents

Maybe it's that I never played Skyrim before, and barely know anything about it, but I was just kinda confused the entire time. This wasn't helped by the story, which feels like it places you in the middle to end part, skipping the beginning. That can work, but it's really hard to and I feel you missed the mark. Places were mentioned, characters were brought up, and relationships between said characters were kinda hard to pick up on when they're referencing others who I don't know about. Also, all the events that occurred seem absurd. One or two in isolation? Absolutely, but all in a row? I find that hard to believe. Then again, I've barely had a sip of alcohol in my life so maybe that's a common occurrence. As per usual, it was written great aside from having to know a lot of the source material to get it

@Jotari

  Reveal hidden contents

No clue if this is a part of a previously made story, or some other fandom, but it was very intriguing. Apocalyptic scenario, made me think of FF6, probably because I'm currently playing through it. That said, the characterization feels somewhat weird. For one, I can't picture these two characters. I mean that in a very literal sense, the only thing I know about both of them is that they're male, there are no other identifying features about them. It isn't even like anonymous's story where I can vaguely picture a character due to occupation and dress, for all I know these are a pair of dwarves wearing frilly pink dresses with a picture of Garfunkel tattooed on their foreheads. And I'm really questioning how this dude who clearly embraces death made it down to be part of the last 24 humans to survive, seems like he'd be one of the first to go. And even if he only gets that way while drunk, if they were on a ship with some dude who had a secret stash both were well aware of, how would K-man not get drunk at least once and then accept death. Just feels off. This specific landscape is well described, although I again feel like there's some context I'm missing, such as who this Angarika fellow? I can assume he's some omnipresent god force or something, but I'm not sure. I wasn't confused the entire time I read it, I quite enjoyed the story while I was deep inside its universe, but it crumbles a bit upon further inspection.

@AnonymousSpeed

  Reveal hidden contents

I think this story is the best use of the prompt. Jotari had the characters getting drunk, Silent had the effects of a character getting drunk, while you had both. The way that this dude is just ranting allows for us to know all about him in a presumably natural way (again, haven't really had any kind of alcohol, so I think ranting about your problems is something that just naturally happens when drunk based off popular media). You really feel for Ferrous, just kinda has a shite life, but even so still has a sense of honor to him. That said, I'm not a fan of how the story ends. It's just a little too open ended for my tastes. We don't know what the characters will do. Even if we had the faintest idea, it would be better than the idea of Ferrous just trudging around in the snow.

Also, I think this is a mistake, but @Rapier, the poll is set to close today. In about an hour.

That would be your problem.  Go play Skyrim or look at a let's play then.  It's a questline in the game in which that whole thing happens.

 

Though to be fair, I did take a massive risk by going with Skyrim in the first place.  And I have gotten drunk before, so it is highly possible to do things like that.

[AnonymousSpeed]

22 hours ago, Otts486 said:

Well for me is a combination of the new semester starting, needing to finish up parts of other fanfic projects, and life in general. I mean I had a rough idea for this prompt involving a “drunken fist” thing with odin but I just couldn’t find the time to really hammer it out.

Oh yeah, Shob didn't even get his story about intoxicated Fire Emblem girls. Poor guy.

4 hours ago, DarthR0xas said:

Also, I think this is a mistake, but @Rapier, the poll is set to close today. In about an hour.

Yea dude I didn't even get to vote.

The original version of the story actually started, like, many years after the events in the story, to sort of show where it all lead, but it was really short and I felt it wasn't needed so I kind of cut it. One of the things about this story is that it's taken from a really old story idea I had, so that context you wanted does actually exist, I guess not in a way I felt was useful to convey.

Oh yeah, uh...should probably say some critiques myself, yeah?

@TheSilentChloey

My Anti-Todd Howard security system (patent pending) has saved me thousands of hours of playing Skyrim, and I feel that this would probably make a lot more sense if I had, but I did actually know there were vampires and stuff because my brother cannot afford my patent-pending Anti-Todd Howard security system, so I was caught in the stream of following along but not knowing the full comedy behind everything. I mean, I was amused, I think the "having a laugh" joke needed a little more variation / deterioration as it went on, I think the second and third instances were a bit similar for it and I think it needed to be growing ever more absurd each time. The ironic title is nice.

@Jotari

I actually kind of liked this in an aesthetic sense. I'm not a huge fan thematically, I guess? Not that it's poorly written, there's some nice imagery there, but it's maybe not the Socratic dialogue I would have written. I certainly got a mental picture from in though, so I didn't have Roxas's problem with it. I did somewhat like the sci-fi apocalyptic image it gave, it would interest me if it was a snippit for a setting or a pitch or something.

Edited January 16, 2019 by AnonymousSpeed

[Anacybele]

16 minutes ago, TheSilentChloey said:

That would be your problem.  Go play Skyrim or look at a let's play then.  It's a questline in the game in which that whole thing happens.

...What? Sorry, but I cannot agree with this at all, someone shouldn't have to go play a game or see a let's play of it in order to understand a small piece of writing. It's entirely possible to write something for an existing media and allow even those that never watched/played it to understand the story. This is the way I write all the time, in fact, because I know some readers might not have played the Tellius FE games, or Zelda OoT, or whatever else I'm writing about.

And yeah, looks like you messed up on the poll there, Rapier.

Edited January 16, 2019 by Anacybele

[Dragoncat]

4 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

...What? Sorry, but I cannot agree with this at all, someone shouldn't have to go play a game or see a let's play of it in order to understand a small piece of writing. It's entirely possible to write something for an existing media and allow even those that never watched/played it to understand the story. This is the way I write all the time, in fact, because I know some readers might not have played the Tellius FE games, or Zelda OoT, or whatever else I'm writing about.

I do this as well, but Chloey does have a point, I remember Shoblongoo saying it's better for the reader to be familiar with the source, because then they can tell if canon characters are in character or not.

Yet, acting like the reader doesn't know the source is generally a good idea.

Edited January 16, 2019 by Dragoncat

[DarthR0xas]

13 minutes ago, TheSilentChloey said:

That would be your problem.  Go play Skyrim or look at a let's play then.  It's a questline in the game in which that whole thing happens.

Maybe this is just me then, but I personally find it as a big problem with a new work if it requires a large amount of knowledge with the original, unless it's something like a sequel. For instance, when I took my dad to see My Hero Academia: Two Heroes, I know I got more out of it than he did, but he found it to be an enjoyable movie despite not getting every tiny detail. Everything necessary is established or able to easily be seen, such as certain character dynamics. I understand that there's a slight difference between a commercial movie and a fan-fiction, but I still think that media should be taken as is, both in a vacuum and within the proper context. Within the proper context, I'm sure your story is great and makes perfect sense, but in a vacuum to some dude who can also afford the

4 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Anti-Todd Howard security system (patent pending)

also known as being poor, most of it was super confusing. One of my complaints was going to be that the character seemed like an absurd Mary Sue with all of these powers, but then I realized that was probably a hold-over from this being Skyrim, so I dropped it.

17 minutes ago, TheSilentChloey said:

And I have gotten drunk before, so it is highly possible to do things like that.

I'll take your word on that

7 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Oh yeah, uh...should probably say some critiques myself, yeah?

Nah, just kinda ignore the issue and use a coin to pick who to vote for.

Oh wait

[Anacybele]

1 minute ago, Dragoncat said:

I do this as well, but Chloey does have a point, I remember Shoblongoo saying it's better for the reader to be familiar with the source, because then they can tell if canon characters are in character or not.

Yet, acting like the reader doesn't know the source is generally a good idea.

Yeah, it is generally better, but that doesn't mean it's okay to leave readers that don't know the source entirely confused.

So yeah, acting like the reader doesn't know the source material is always a good idea.

[TheSilentChloey]

48 minutes ago, DarthR0xas said:

Maybe this is just me then, but I personally find it as a big problem with a new work if it requires a large amount of knowledge with the original, unless it's something like a sequel. For instance, when I took my dad to see My Hero Academia: Two Heroes, I know I got more out of it than he did, but he found it to be an enjoyable movie despite not getting every tiny detail. Everything necessary is established or able to easily be seen, such as certain character dynamics. I understand that there's a slight difference between a commercial movie and a fan-fiction, but I still think that media should be taken as is, both in a vacuum and within the proper context. Within the proper context, I'm sure your story is great and makes perfect sense, but in a vacuum to some dude who can also afford the

also known as being poor, most of it was super confusing. One of my complaints was going to be that the character seemed like an absurd Mary Sue with all of these powers, but then I realized that was probably a hold-over from this being Skyrim, so I dropped it.

I'll take your word on that

Nah, just kinda ignore the issue and use a coin to pick who to vote for.

Oh wait

Well you would have to know minimal stuff about Skyrim at best and as I did say there are let's plays out there.  So you don't have to spend money to see what it's about.

 

Though to be fair, like I said before this was a gamble.  Not a great one clearly because apparently I'm the only one here who's actually played Skyrim...that's actually quite depressing in a way.

[Rapier]

Yeah, I completely messed up with the timer. I had to reopen the poll (because even after editing the deadline, it still kept closed), but it should be working as intended now. Sorry.

[Anacybele]

Timer ended! I see AnonymousSpeed wins, congrats to him!

Looking forward to seeing what theme you pick. :) And I hope I can finally enter again this time, I'm itching to rejoin. XD

[Ottservia]

2 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Looking forward to seeing what theme you pick. :) And I hope I can finally enter again this time, I'm itching to rejoin. XD

same honestly I really need to try and prove myself this time.

[DarthR0xas]

17 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

same honestly I really need to try and prove myself this time.

I concur with this line of thinking. I'd also like to show my true worth, although first I'd like to see Mr. Speed's prompt. I have a feeling it might be a little more complex than our last theme.

[AnonymousSpeed]

58 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Timer ended! I see AnonymousSpeed wins, congrats to him!

Looking forward to seeing what theme you pick. :) And I hope I can finally enter again this time, I'm itching to rejoin. XD

37 minutes ago, DarthR0xas said:

I concur with this line of thinking. I'd also like to show my true worth, although first I'd like to see Mr. Speed's prompt. I have a feeling it might be a little more complex than our last theme.

Hot diggity pants, have I got a real prize in store for y'all.

Your prompt is as follows:

Write a two part story, but only the second part. The story must begin in medias res, and the events of the first part must be inferred entirely from the events of the second.

Please notice the usage of the word "inferred" and "events," not "told" and "words." The previous happenings cannot be explicitly stated- no exposition dumps here.

No flashbacks are allowed either.

Edited January 22, 2019 by AnonymousSpeed

[Anacybele]

2 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Hot diggity pants, have I got a real prize in store for y'all.

Your prompt is as follows:

Write a two part story, but only the second part. The story must begin in medias res, and the events of the first part must be inferred entirely from the events of the second.

Please notice the usage of the word "inferred" and "events," not "told" and "words." The previous happenings cannot be explicitly stated- no exposition dumps here.

That is a real prize...or at least I think. It sounds like it judging by the length. But what does "medias res" mean? I've never heard this term at all.

[DarthR0xas]

4 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Hot diggity pants, have I got a real prize in store for y'all.

Your prompt is as follows:

Write a two part story, but only the second part. The story must begin in medias res, and the events of the first part must be inferred entirely from the events of the second.

Please notice the usage of the word "inferred" and "events," not "told" and "words." The previous happenings cannot be explicitly stated- no exposition dumps here.

Awesome. Just awesome. This is going to be fun to write.

[Ottservia]

2 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

That is a real prize...or at least I think. It sounds like it judging by the length. But what does "medias res" mean? I've never heard this term at all.

It’s basically a fancy term for “putting the middle of your story in the beginning”

but this prompt really does intrigue me let’s see where I can go with this

[Anacybele]

1 minute ago, Ottservia said:

It’s basically a fancy term for “putting the middle of your story in the beginning”

but this prompt really does intrigue me let’s see where I can go with this

Oh, I see! Thanks.

I think I can do something for this too. I've got a certain character I've been wanting to do more with lately, and the fandom won't be FE this time either since I did two of those in a row.

[AnonymousSpeed]

9 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

That is a real prize...or at least I think. It sounds like it judging by the length. But what does "medias res" mean? I've never heard this term at all.

5 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

It’s basically a fancy term for “putting the middle of your story in the beginning”

Yeah, it's Latin, more specifically, because English just isn't good enough for those fancy-pants scholarly types. I expect more common sense from 15th century French literary critics.

 

Edit: Oh, and another thing. No flashbacks either.

Edited January 22, 2019 by AnonymousSpeed

[Interdimensional Observer]

10 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

That is a real prize...or at least I think. It sounds like it judging by the length. But what does "medias res" mean? I've never heard this term at all.

Just to provide an example in literature, Paradise Lost. The book begins with Lucifer and all the other fallen angels having just been banished to Hell, still aching from their failed rebellion and yet to construct the city of Pandemonium. The actual story of why and how Lucifer revolted and the details of the war in Heaven, aren't told until later by Michael to Adam.

 

8 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:

Yeah, it's Latin, more specifically, because English just isn't good enough for those fancy-pants scholarly types. I expect more common sense from 15th century French literary critics.

To be fair, English wasn't the official language of the English government until just that century. And France I think took about another century before French acquired the same status.

 

 

Maybe I'll hop in this time for once. Maybe.

[Anacybele]

Yeah, I get the idea now, thanks!

[Jotari]

Oh damn. I never got a chance to read the stories before voting time finished. I'll still try get a chance to read and give feedback anyway if it's wanted.

[TheSilentChloey]

What the fuck?  Excuse my language but what kind of a freaking prompt is THAT?!

 

Sweet mother of Grima that is a recipe for a disaster.

[LdotRage]

I'm new here, but I think I'll give this one a shot. It's been way too long since I've written a proper in-media-res short story, since I over-explain everything, lol