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The Fire Emblem World Cup - L'Arachel is the champion!


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1 minute ago, Saint Rubenio said:

No, but it does. Children lose in Fates just the same. Take Elise, for example. She dies in every route.

Elise is Garon’s child, the rules are inapplicable.

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12 minutes ago, Imperator Squilla said:

Her "Onii-chan" is so good it makes you think she's in heaven?

Shrimpy.

Don't be mean to me.

11 minutes ago, Sooks said:

Elise is Garon’s child, the rules are inapplicable.

Fair enough. I don't make the rules, Garon does.

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4 hours ago, Imperator Squilla said:

kill it

Not until I play Crimson Flower, trust me, it shall be worth it.

4 hours ago, Acacia Sgt said:
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I mean, can you really make one when Elincia's Mercy means she won't ever kill Sigurd?

What meme?

Uh, I mean...what I meant to say of course was...

Long live Adrestia! Glory to her majesty and supreme leader of the homeland! May death rain upon all who oppose her!

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Matchday 1 Part 1 Results

Caeda 13 - 4 Seliph

Wingspear 2 OP

L'Arachel 10 - 9 Edelgard

A close one, but the holy one beats the unholy one

Sigurd 8 - 7 Elincia

Another close one, but Elincia forgot to unequip Mercy

Tiki 13 - 3 Corrin

#TikiSweep

Marth 11 - 6 Roy

Roy is not our boy

Tibarn 9 - 7 Lucina

Not even Time travel can beat OP birb

Celica 9 - 8 Eliwood

Redheads close

Ryoma 3 - 14 Dimitri

Yeah Fates getting trounced as expected lol

 

Matchday 1 Part 2

Hector vs. Ike

Robin vs. Claude

Innes vs. Chrom

Xander vs. Byleth

Alm vs. Leif

Eirika vs. Micaiah

Julia vs. Lyn

Ephraim vs. Azura

 

I expect this ones to be closer than the others. We shall see

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Hahaha! Hector vs Ike. A tough one if I ever saw one. Let's say uhhhhh I looked to the right, to my pile of Switch games. First word I saw was Octopath. It contains an H, for Hector. There we go, he wins.

Robin wins because Claude tried to scheme to win, but Robin schemed against his schemes, however Claude saw this coming and schemed against their schemes against his schemes, and then Robin's avatar powers gave them the victory.

Innes wins because he's too proud not to. Fun fact: He bribed the referee

Byleth wins because Xander's dad is the head of FIFA and rigged the match against him. Sadly, I will not be able to do this joke again.

Leif wins because he has best tactician August strategizing for him. Who is Alm's tactician? Clive? Please. He never saw them plays coming.

Micaiah wins because she messed her hair up a little, put on a fancy cape and told Eirika "I need the ball to save myself from the Demon King's possession."

Lyn wins because... she's very fast. Julia isn't fast. Honestly of all these goons she's probably one that would actually do well in football, memes aside.

Azura wins because she started singing the meme song, making InfanGaron groan groans of increasing discomfort. He was unable to see the result of the match, so he decided the winner with a coin flip. I am assuming the head of FIFA decides who wins in matches. That's how football works, right? And if not, well, under InfanGaron it is, fuck it.

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Matchday 1 Part 2 Results

Hector 5 - 4 Ike

What's a weapon triangle?

Robin 5 - 5 Claude

stalling tactics

Innes 4 - 6 Chrom

No Close Counter in FE8

Xander 5 - 5 Byleth

Garon steps in again

Alm 2 - 7 Leif

Master Knight Leif moment

Eirika 4 - 5 Micaiah

Eirika fooled too easily

Julia 6 - 3 Lyn

0x2 is still 0

Ephraim 8 - 2 Azura

He doesn't pick fights he can not win!

 

Matchday 2! Yes i am doing all 16 of em at once

Caeda vs. Edelgard

Seliph vs. L'Arachel

Sigurd vs. Corrin

Elincia vs. Tiki

Marth vs. Lucina

Roy vs. Tibarn

Celica vs. Dimitri

Eliwood vs. Ryoma

Hector vs. Claude

Ike vs. Robin

Innes vs. Byleth

Chrom vs. Xander

Alm vs. Micaiah

Leif vs. Eirika

Julia vs. Azura

Lyn vs. Ephraim

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Oh, golly.

Caeda beats Edelgard because Wingspear is effective against armored units too. She cripples Edelgard and then gentle pushes the ball to her goal a few times while she watches from the ground. Again.

L'Arachel beats Seliph because she has a personality, which sways the referee to her side.

Sigurd beats Corrin because InfanGaron put legos all over the field. Come to think of it, how do you play football barefoot at all? Wouldn't they break their toes or something?

Elincia beats Tiki because she remembered to unequip Mercy. The fact that you can do that at all is just sad, honestly, they should've stuck to their guns and let her be the pacifist princess instead of just... "yeah just remove it." Fucking commit, IntSys.

Marth beats Lucina because he's the OG. OG isn't always better, but it is in this case. He also cheated.

Roy beats Tibarn because Tibarn has the power of a final boss, which is coincidentally the one and only thing Roy is good against in his game. Bad luck!

Celica beats Dimitri because she pointed to the side and went "look, it's the Flame Emperor!", distracting Dimitri for the remainder of the match. How she came to know of Dimitri's weakness is unknown, though it is rumored one of her friends is one of InfanGaron's wives.

Eliwood beats Ryoma because Ryoma stabbed himself in the eye with one of the horns of his lobster helmet. Little known fact: that's how he actually dies in Conquest. He would've survived a little stab to the gut, I mean c'mon, you seen his stats?

Oh God, Hector vs Claude now... Okay, employing the same method again... the first thing I laid eyes on was my Luigi amiibo. Claude contains the letter L. So Claude wins. There we go.

Ike beats Robin, because they both fight for their friends, but Ike has more friends, because in my Awakening run Robin's entire army got murdered by the end.

Innes beats Byleth because Innes has Moulder. Moulder sat in front of the goal and Byleth was unable to get any balls in.

Chrom wins. Just barely, though. Xander could've tied at the last minute, but he missed the goal and hit Elise in the face instead.

Micaiah beats Alm because she had Sothe steal his underpants. Alm was too embarrassed to come out to the field.

Eirika beats Leif because Leif was too busy trying to recruit Xavier to play football. But hey, he managed in the end. Now he has Xavier. He's the real winner here.

Azura beats Julia because Julia failed to attend the match. She had been kidnapped. Blame Kaga.

Lyn beats Ephraim because Ephraim can't do anything against women that look like his sister. That's a line in the game, I'll have you know.

29 minutes ago, Imperator Squilla said:

Garon steps in again

Tiebreaker for Byleth

A son too weak to win by goals is not worthy of being Crown Prince of Nohr

Edited by Saint Rubenio
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10 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Eliwood beats Ryoma because Ryoma stabbed himself in the eye with one of the horns of his lobster helmet. Little known fact: that's how he actually dies in Conquest. He would've survived a little stab to the gut, I mean c'mon, you seen his stats?

Ryoma always gonna lose because he patiently waits during the first twenty-five minutes of each match. After that, he enacts his play.

Edited by Acacia Sgt
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Just now, Acacia Sgt said:

Ryoma always gonna lose because he patiently waits during the first twenty-five minutes of each match. After that, he enacts his play.

That's a much better joke than I made.

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Matchday 2 Results

Caeda 8 - 3 Edelgard and Seliph 4 - 6 L'Arachel

Goodbye Seliph and Edelgard! Caeda and L'Arachel sure to advance and fight for group lead now!

Sigurd 7 - 3 Corrin and Elincia 6 - 4 Tiki

Sigurd almost into quarters, but nothing is safe yet.

Marth 7 - 5 Lucina and Roy 5 - 5 Tibarn

Lucina get's kicked out by her Ancestor, Roy still in there, barely

Celica 8 - 2 Dimitri and Eliwood 7 - 4 Ryoma

Ryoma out! Eliwood and Dimitri will have to duke it out on who to advance alongside Celica!

Hector 4 - 7 Claude and Ike 6 - 5 Robin

Truly the group of death

Innes 7 - 4 Byleth and Chrom 4 - 7 Xander

This group also on fire!

Alm 4 - 6 Micaiah and Leif 5 - 5 Eirika

And Miccy reaches the Ro16. Alm out! Leif has the better chance to advance over Eirika, but nothing safe yet!

Julia 7 - 3 Azura and Lyn 6 - 4 Ephraim

Azura needs a miracle to advance! How high is her luck?

 

Matchday 3

Caeda vs. L'Arachel

Seliph vs. Edelgard

Sigurd vs. Tiki

Elincia vs. Corrin

Marth vs. Tibarn

Roy vs. Lucina

Celica vs. Ryoma

Eliwood vs. Dimitri

Hector vs. Robin

Ike vs. Claude

Innes vs. Chrom

Byleth vs. Xander

Alm vs. Eirika

Leif vs. Micaiah

Julia vs. Ephraim

Lyn vs. Azura

Edited by Imperator Squilla
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Caeda was going to use the Wingspear on L'Arachel and repeat the old reliable strategy, but the spear bounced off of Dozla's beard and then Caeda couldn't do anything while L'Arachel scored the singular goal of the match.

Edelgard beats Seliph because babies don't win football matches. He's got to be a baby, I mean, Sigurd's around, ain't he? Credit to @ping for coming up with this one. I drew a massive blank here. I have no strong opinions for either of these characters, honestly.

Tiki beats Sigurd. Bantu lent her his firestone.

Corrin beats Elincia, because in an unexpected twist of fate, InfanGaron decided to rig the match in their favor for once. Something about how Elincia looks like one of his concubines.

Tibarn beats Marth, because if you squint your eyes really really hard Marth looks a bit like Naesala. Enough motivation for Tibarn.

Celica beat Ryoma because Ryoma waited patiently for the first 25 minutes of the match before he started moving. What do you mean, I stole this joke? I didn't. It's a common meme. I definitely came up with this myself.

Eliwood beats Dimitri because Dimitri got distracted eating the weeds of the field. Dedue urged him not to, but Dimitri disregarded his advice. Meanwhile, Eliwood asked the referee to let him off early just this once. He wants to watch his son's match!

Speaking of, Roy vs Lucina! What a match-up! Roy wins because he has a catchy motto, "Roy's out Boi", which won over the public opinion. That totally matters in football.

Hector vs Robin. I mean, I can at least modify Robin's appearance into something endearing. But then, Hector gains a big puffy beard in his second game, doesn't he... Oohhh, decisions, decisions. I'll go with Hector for the beard, I think.

Ike vs Claude! Yeah, I think not, I'm abstaining from this one.

Innes beats Chrom because he procced Sure Strike a bunch. It surely struck Chrom's kneecaps and his defensive game weakened as a result.

Xander defeats Byleth because Elise stood behind the goal this time. Instinct did the rest.

Eirika beats Alm because Conrad mistook her for Celica and helped her win the match. And then he died of a terrible heart attack. Because I hate him. Add him to the tournament's death count. Fuck Conrad.

Leif beats Micaiah. He threw Dryas at her and she was too busy trying to sacrifice his arm back into existence to play.

Ephraim beats Julia because she failed to attend. She's still kidnapped. Blame Kaga. Why did she even win last match? At least Azura is a character.

Azura beats Lyn because she's lost every match and I gotta throw her a bone. So decrees InfanGaron.

Edited by Saint Rubenio
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4 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Innes beats Chrom because he procced Sure Strike a bunch. It surely struck Chrom's kneecaps and his defensive game weakened as a result.

So did Chrom became a guard afterwards?

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THE GROUP PHASE IS OVER!

16 characters remain

and from now on, it's do or die!

Casual mode gloves are off, so to say. From now, it's Classic mode only!

You can see the standings in the Group table here

Btw, if there're any mistakes in my calculations

QUTRbORs_o.png

Bracket

McJXhGu.png

Round of 16

Caeda vs. Elincia

Sigurd vs. L'Arachel

Tibarn vs. Dimitri

Celica vs. Marth

Claude vs. Chrom

Xander vs. Hector

Leif vs. Ephraim

Julia vs. Micaiah

Edited by Imperator Squilla
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Caeda beats Elincia because she's probably played football in her life, unlike Elincia. She's a tomboy after all. Also the Wingspear has WTA against Elincia's swords.

L'Arachel beats Sigurd because she promoted to mage knight and trained her anima rank until she could use elfire.

Dimitri beats Tibarn because Tibarn was still busy chasing after Marth, thinking he's Naesala.

Celica beats Marth because Marth was still busy running from Tibarn, who thought he's Naesala.

Claude beats Chrom because he's a big scheming boy and Chrom is gullible. Also Claude cheated.

Xander beats Hector because InfanGaron doesn't like Hector's hair.

Leif beats Ephraim because Ephraim doesn't pick fights he can't win. He saw August and gave up.

Micaiah beats Julia because Julia is still too kidnapped to participate. I won't stop until she's out of the competition. Blame Kaga.

Edited by Saint Rubenio
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5 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Micaiah beats Julia because Julia is still too kidnapped to participate. I won't stop until she's out of the competition. Blame Kaga.

It would totally be hilarious if Julia were to somehow win this, and per you, was kidnapped throughout the entire thing. XD

Edited by Acacia Sgt
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I swear to God, if Julia makes it past this round too.

Anyway

Caeda beats Dimitri because Wingspear. Do I even need to justify, at this point? Wingspear just beats all.

Leif beats Claude. Claude had a scheme all ready, but Leif out-schemed him by having warp tiles placed around the field. Claude found himself far away from the field before long, in Leonster castle, where he was told he had to get eight civilians to reach their eight armor knight relatives so he could recruit a bearded man.

L'Arachel beats Marth because... Honestly, I can't really see shenanigans happening between these two. They just played a pleasant match, enjoyed themselves, had a lot of fun and L'Arachel won because she won. That's it.

Xander beats Julia because even though InfanGaron had his henchmen break Xander's kneecaps in order to sabotage him, Xander was still able to drag himself to the field. Which was enough for him to win, because Julia couldn't attend at all. She's still kidnapped. Blame Kaga.

On 12/8/2022 at 10:57 PM, Acacia Sgt said:

It would totally be hilarious if Julia were to somehow win this, and per you, was kidnapped throughout the entire thing. XD

"Well, I've no idea how it happened, Julia, but it looks like you won the World Cup."

"How?"

"Beats me."

"...Do I get to go now that I'm the winner?"

"No."

"Aw."

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11 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

"Well, I've no idea how it happened, Julia, but it looks like you won the World Cup."

"How?"

"Beats me."

"...Do I get to go now that I'm the winner?"

"No."

"Aw."

The Book of Naga contains several pages dedicated to the Luigi Strategy.

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8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I swear to God, if Julia makes it past this round too.

Some characters are even worse than non-characters. Don't think this was true for Miccy, even though she's not exactly my favourite character, but with Xander... Hmm...

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It's time for the

SEMI-FINALS!

SlVYrry.png

On one side, we got the battle of the fliers!

Caeda vs. Claude

Can Caeda evade his arrows, or will Claude scheme his way into the final?

On the other side, we got the battle of light mages!

Julia vs. L'Arachel

Will it be the slayer of the evil dragon Naga'ing her way into the final while still being held hostage, or will the Holy Woman ™️  win through her sheer aweseomenss?

Edited by Imperator Squilla
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Oh please. C'mon she couldn't possibly beat L'Arachel, she isn't a character and L'Ara is as character as it gets.

 

Caeda kills Claude. Not with the flycatcher. With the Wingspear. Wingspear trumps all. All bow before Winged Emperor Caeda.

L'Arachel beats Julia because Julia tried to break out of the generic cult dungeon, but failed because she's a Kaga character, so she remains in kidnaptivity. Blame Kaga.

18 minutes ago, Imperator Squilla said:

Will it be the slayer of the evil dragon Naga'ing her way into the final while still being held hostage,

I like how at this point it's thread canon lol

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