The term "queer"

[Caliban of Sycorax]

I've been discussing this a lot lately, because it seems to come up. The word "queer" was, at one point, seen as a slur against members of the LGBT community. Yet, lately, it's been seen as a more all-encompassing term to include people who are Gay, Lesbian, Trans*, Bisexual, Asexual, Allies, etc. The full abbreviation of LGBTQ seems to change constantly, however, instead of saying "LGBTQQIA community/issues/etc" people just say "queer". Not to mention there are people who identify as Genderqueer.

Personally I use the word queer as an all-encompassing term. If someone asked if I identified as queer I would say yes. When I discuss issues I refer to them as queer issues.

I was just curious about people's assumptions about the word queer and whether or not you believe it's not the "proper" word to use.

[Doga]

What a queer question you present.

[Agro]

I hate the word. It's not that there's anything wrong with it, I just hate the way it sounds.

[Iridium]

My ex used the term to me the other day and it really sort of caught me off-guard. He meant it in a positive way, I know, but mentally I've just so associated that word with people trying to insult me (which tends to happen when one grows up in a redneck part of Texas in before "isn't that all of Texas?") that it hit me the wrong way. It doesn't really help that it literally means 'weird/different.

I usually just say LGBT. I know it doesn't include everything, and I feel kind of bad about that, but I feel more comfortable saying that acronym than the former word.

[eclipse]

I can think of much worse things for people in that community to be called, so I don't really care. I'm more likely to describe your physical appearance/traits before anything else. Unless you swing in a way that affects your appearance, you're a him/her/race thingy first.

[Inactive Account]

I think it's been pretty successfully reclaimed by the LGBT* community, but I'm a little iffy on people using it to describe others unless they've already self-identified with it.

Some straight/cis people no doubt still use it as an insult, but I'd be inclined to just give them a snarky "thanks, yes I am" unless they're coming across as threatening.

(I've heard QUILTBAG as an acronym for the LGBT* community, but it seemed to come into and fall out of use pretty quickly so I dunno)

Edited January 18, 2013 by kdanger

[Teapot]

I use it as an all-encompassing term, myself, despite also using it according to the original definition as a vocabulary word. Again, though, it sort of boils down to what people prefer.

Edited January 18, 2013 by · j e a l o u s y ·

[Loki Laufeyson]

I actually dont use that word to describe LBGT folks. I use it in sentences for its original meaning.

"You want me to put on a tutu and do the limbo with a mad kangaroo? What a queer thought."

[Original Alear]

I feel like I thought of the word as a noncritical term like weird, far before I understood it was relevant to anything related to gender and sex, or maybe even had thought much about such a thing. Now it seems it has for a long time been very strongly tied to that movement, so I was wrong.

Proper? It seems like a lot of people worry about questions about things like this...I think one might have to try and pay attention to the context, if you're worried about offending people, and, apologize quickly if someone tells you you've offended them.

As for on here, maybe it is a loaded term, and if pursuing very strong standards of politeness, I think the use of it should be careful. That's, more like a guess, than anything else. I don't think there's a lot of reason to have thin skin on the internet, or not to try and brush things off if ya do, or be careful about where ya end up. It's probably more important than to use words that aren't horribly offensive, as you would according to your own prerogatives for speech, but to be really apologetic when a mistake occurs, and someone lets you know you've hurt their feelings, or whatever. Because, just because you didn't know it was a mistake, doesn't mean it wasn't, I suspect.

The label stuff confuses me, but it's good that people would confuse me, because it's not proper that I should understand them.

On the other hand, I always figure maybe it's good for people to question, and to know questioning happens, and stuff like that. I don't really know if a very strict standard of politeness and formality can really address something like that very well. To me, those things are associated with conservative principles - not so much, being of one gender or another, or one sex or another, but just, not really bringing those things up. (could be said to be stodgy or prudish or reserved)

Edited January 18, 2013 by Mouse

[Wist]

In university my advisor was an authority on queer scholarship who considered promoting the study of queer theory his most important role. My experiences with him gave me the impression that, as kdanger suggested, queer as a term has pretty much been successfully reclaimed by the LGBT community, but I never use it myself. It's a convenient umbrella term, but like Iridium I'm cautious about its relatively recent common use as an insult. I had a gay room-mate last year who I never once heard use the word queer, and he was heavily interested in LGBT perceptions in society; obviously he's just one person, but thinking back I regret never having asked his opinion on it.

[Vorena]

I thought of it as two meanings. Derogatory and to imply something is odd or out of place.

[Blademaster!]

The more you care about what people call you, the more often people will use that word. It's why people will never stop using the word nigger to piss off black people.

[frat_tastic]

Personally I can't stand using the word queer to refer to the LGBT community since it's original definition means something that is weird, odd, abnormal or out of place.

LGBT people are none of those, so I think its an inappropriate term to use in reference to them.

[Kon]

Personally I can't stand using the word queer to refer to the LGBT community since it's original definition means something that is weird, odd, abnormal or out of place.

LGBT people are none of those, so I think its an inappropriate term to use in reference to them.

This, pretty much. I knew it as it's original definition before I knew it was used to label members of the LGBT community as well, so I only ever use it for its original definition (although it's one of my lesser used words).

[Lord Raven]

I only use it to refer to weird things... I've never used it to refer to LGBT

[Tangerine]

I know I'll probably make someone mad, but I don't actually care how it's used. They're words. They can mean whatever the heck the speaker wants them to mean, and getting caught up in the politics of it is such a waste of time. Caring about the word's definition is ridiculous. Someone brought up the word "nigger" earlier, and that word is a perfect example for why this discussion is pointless, although not for the reasons he suggested. It means so many different things, and it's never going to mean just one. You can't "claim" a word. Depending on who is saying it and in what context it's going to mean something different entirely. Let it be used as hate speech, and use it to describe the LGBT community yourself if you want to. It's a word, anyone who gets offended by the word itself without understanding the intentions behind it is silly.

If anything, adopting a word that is commonly used as hate speech to describe yourself has the opposite effect that they intend for it to have.

I hate the word. It's not that there's anything wrong with it, I just hate the way it sounds.

This is pretty much the best post in this thread. I don't know if that's how he intended it, but this is exactly how it should be treated. lol!

Edited January 18, 2013 by Tangerine

[frat_tastic]

I don't really think the discussion is pointless. Yeah, I'm never going to be able to stop people from using the word, and they're going to use it in several different contexts. But if by talking about how using the word in a certain context can help someone see my point of view and how it might be used to put down a person or group of people, and they then become a little more conscious of it and think before they use the word that way in the future, then I think the discussion has value.

[Anouleth]

I don't really like it, or other "umbrella" terms such as "trans*" or "PoC".

[Tangerine]

I don't really think the discussion is pointless. Yeah, I'm never going to be able to stop people from using the word, and they're going to use it in several different contexts. But if by talking about how using the word in a certain context can help someone see my point of view and how it might be used to put down a person or group of people, and they then become a little more conscious of it and think before they use the word that way in the future, then I think the discussion has value.

The solution isn't to make people aware that a word can be hurtful, the solution is to stop giving the words that power over you. This is counter-productive. If it is a "problem" you want to "fix", the best way to do it is to stop affording them more worth than they deserve, and encouraging other people to do the same.

The word isn't the problem.

[Lord Raven]

I was talking to an lgbt guy (as in, someone in one of those LGBT groups) and I argued with him about how preventing the use of such words still won't make them less intolerant, it'll just give them less power over you... So I agree with what tangerine says more or less. Ofc I still wouldn't say it outside a familiar environment, just because of the taboo but the point is still there

[Zanarkin]

http://www.geekosystem.com/fallacy-political-correctness-trying-not-to-offend/

That article has a decent explanation on my views of the stupidity of trying to be politically correct. Honestly, queer is a word like any other and if you are using it to mean the LGBT community then it is encompassing the LGBT community nothing else. If you use it to mean weird then it means weird. You can change the meaning of the words, language has the ability to change.

Edited January 21, 2013 by SlayerX

[Deliriyum]

Being a member of the group in question, I'm not offended by it. But I wouldn't use it either.

Edited January 20, 2013 by Deliriyum

[Inactive Account]

I'm not really worried about offending anybody. I don't refer to people as queer if they don't want to be because I consider it basic courtesy to not refer to peoples' genders/sexualities with terms they do not want. In general I don't consider my desire to use certain words to be more important than the fact that those words legitimately make someone hurt or uncomfortable. Changing wording is not a huge hardship. I appreciate when others respect my preferred terms in the same way. People accidentally slip up sometimes, of course. I try to be patient when that happens; people do sometimes fly off the handle, which is not necessarily a useful way to respond (though it can be understandable if they've been dealing with deliberate bullshit all day, and I've probably done it before under similar conditions of frustration). But if someone is deliberately being an ass about it, I tell them so, because it's obnoxious.

If I were so concerned with not offending anyone, I'd never call anyone out for being an ass. Because a lot of people get really damn offended when you do that. Hell, some people get really offended because LGBT* people exist. I don't give a single lonely fuck about offending them. My existence doesn't actually hurt them, so they can just deal with it.

(Side note: it's pretty irrelevant to bring free speech into this. Free speech just means the government can't legally regulate most things you say. Free speech doesn't mean you can be an ass and say whatever you want without anyone ever criticizing you for it. And I'm pretty sure that at no point in this thread has it been suggested that any given term be made illegal, so.)

[Zanarkin]

My existence doesn't actually hurt them, so they can just deal with it.

Language doesn't actually hurt anyone either.

(Side note: it's pretty irrelevant to bring free speech into this. Free speech just means the government can't legally regulate most things you say. Free speech doesn't mean you can be an ass and say whatever you want without anyone ever criticizing you for it. And I'm pretty sure that at no point in this thread has it been suggested that any given term be made illegal, so.)

You are correct i was associating this topic with something else due to similarities.

Also, there is a poster outside my room about using appropriate language. Some are pretty weird like you shouldn't call old people elderly, instead call them seniors. Now i don't really understand that, both really mean the same thing. How can anyone be possibly offended at the term elder? How is it any different from calling them seniors? There is also a Native and Aboriginal (where aboriginal is the politically correct term). I just don't understand what the point is. Suddenly a word becomes offensive and you switch to another one. But then what if that one becomes offensive? Do you switch to another word? And then what if that word becomes offensive? When do you stop? Why should you switch instead of trying to get rid of any sort of negative stereotype that word may have that may have caused your desire to switch?

[Agro]

This is pretty much the best post in this thread. I don't know if that's how he intended it, but this is exactly how it should be treated. lol!

??????

anywho i'm gonna leave this here

this summarises how I feel about most "offensive" words.