SF's "Write Your Butt Off" II - Return of Writer's Block

[Anacybele]

4 minutes ago, Rafiel's Aria said:

The writing is a lot easier to read without all of the exposition I remember from the last piece of yours I read. Then again, I’m a person who enjoys dialogue more than narration because it gives you a better sense of the characters instead of just what the author wants you to know. I think some of the dialogue at the beginning came across as a little stiff, but as the story goes on, it’s a lot more authentic and natural. I think the exchange between Judo and Conan was very nice even though the bit about the charm seemed a little random. Up until that point, the conversation had established the proper development between the two, and I thought it had resolved nicely after Judo started to think about Kelli. The bit about the charm just seemed unneeded since you’d already established that Judo had things to be guilty about.

I enjoyed this piece. It fit the prompt nicely, transitioned from scene to scene pretty well, and gave me a good sense of the characters. If I had to have one gripe, I’d say that at times the banter came across as kind of childish, and I got more of a “Sokka trapped in the secret tunnel with a bunch of hippie troubadours vibe” rather than trained knights in a perilous situation. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with some humor; in fact, I feel like it’s good to balance out angst with it, but this particular style of humor didn’t tickle my fancy. No fault of yours for sure since we’re allowed to find different things funny.

Some of the banter was supposed to be a bit childish, actually. Specifically the mentions of the one knight, Dennis, who pulls pranks. Because pranks are childish. :P But thanks for the feedback! I'm glad this was a likeable piece.

One question though, what bit about what charm are you talking about at the end of your first paragraph?

[Rafiel's Aria]

4 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Some of the banter was supposed to be a bit childish, actually. Specifically the mentions of the one knight, Dennis, who pulls pranks. Because pranks are childish. :P But thanks for the feedback! I'm glad this was a likeable piece.

One question though, what bit about what charm are you talking about at the end of your first paragraph?

There's an exchange about a sword charm that Judo lost. Because you chose to mention it, I thought it was going to be important somehow to the end of the story. 

[Anacybele]

1 minute ago, Rafiel's Aria said:

There's an exchange about a sword charm that Judo lost. Because you chose to mention it, I thought it was going to be important somehow to the end of the story. 

Oh, THAT. lol silly me. I thought it helped further to explain why Judo's been depressed which was part of the point of this story. He's depressed because of various things and trying to get his head together and grow as a leader at last.

[Dragoncat]

@Rafiel's Aria High fantasy dwarves are what I was going for lol. I've heard the "how are you SURE you've never seen a female dwarf" gag and figured it worked.

Few things I forgot to mention: All the Links would have names they were born with as well, it just makes sense, what are your thoughts on that? Also, I use a theme for twili names that I can notice with the two canon named ones.

Midna: midnight

Zant: phantom

Clipse: eclipse

Umbren: umbra

Nocta: noctis

Nyren: night

They're all based on darkness themed words, Zant admittedly not as clear, but it's there. Nocta and Nyren of course being the two who aren't in the picture yet in this oneshot.

There's also the Spyro fan in me coming out in this:

https://spyro.fandom.com/wiki/Alban

https://spyro.fandom.com/wiki/Trondo

I'll read and leave thoughts tomorrow. 

Edited February 6, 2019 by Dragoncat

[Ottservia]

24 minutes ago, Rafiel's Aria said:

I know you mentioned in your self-criticism that this was a little rushed, but congrats on getting something out. I mean it’s better to write something (and push through the writer’s block) than it is to write nothing at all. I think because the piece was so short and a large chunk of it was dedicated to a fight scene, character development did suffer a little bit. I got a taste of the characters but not very much to understand what’s at stake for them. But that being said, I think the situation you created was intriguing enough to pique my interest. I think if you’d want to improve/expand on this, I’d put more energy into the characters over their powers, maybe expand on the end to give the piece more resolution. But overall, I’d say it’s a good start to something.

thanks and I'll keep that in mind. Honestly this scene sort of came out of a novel my friends and I are working on together. Anyway Yeah I definitely could've done a better job of really conveying what's at stake here cause honestly character motivation seems a little flat like you said. Though I just couldn't really find a place to put said character motivation maybe I could've delved into their heads a bit more. Added a bit more dialogue maybe? I dunno. Though I guess more flashbacks could've helped but given the rules of the prompt well...The rushed ending came out of time constraints tbh. I had a more serious and shall we say bitter ending planned out but that would've taken so much more time to build and execute. said ending would've had both boys nearly kill each other in where asmodeus steps in and tells them to make up but no they can't because of what happened. This in turn prompts them both to leave.

In short I was trying to write about two long time friends that were forced away from each other due to underlying differences in character traits and flaws but yeah that didn't pan out as intended.

Edited February 6, 2019 by Ottservia

[Rafiel's Aria]

56 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

Oh, THAT. lol silly me. I thought it helped further to explain why Judo's been depressed which was part of the point of this story. He's depressed because of various things and trying to get his head together and grow as a leader at last.

I thought you had already done a pretty good job explaining that. I mean half his men hate him, he led them into a trap, his country's in trouble, and he's doubting himself. You mentioned being worried about too much dialogue I think, and if I had to pick out any point in the story, it would be that little part there since it's a little like adding chocolate whipped cream on top of double chocolate brownie fudge ice cream already drenched in chocolate sauce and worrying if the chocolate flavor will come through. XD

56 minutes ago, Dragoncat said:

@Rafiel's Aria High fantasy dwarves are what I was going for lol. I've heard the "how are you SURE you've never seen a female dwarf" gag and figured it worked.

Few things I forgot to mention: All the Links would have names they were born with as well, it just makes sense, what are your thoughts on that? Also, I use a theme for twili names that I can notice with the two canon named ones.

Midna: midnight

Zant: phantom

Clipse: eclipse

Umbren: umbra

Nocta: noctis

Nyren: night

They're all based on darkness themed words, Zant admittedly not as clear, but it's there. Nocta and Nyren of course being the two who aren't in the picture yet in this oneshot.

There's also the Spyro fan in me coming out in this:

https://spyro.fandom.com/wiki/Alban

https://spyro.fandom.com/wiki/Trondo

I'll read and leave thoughts tomorrow. 

It's interesting to make Link more of a title... I don't think it screws with the Zelda lore at all, so it's probably fine, but wouldn't that mean you'd have to do the same thing for Zelda or just assume that all the girls in Hylian royalty get that name?  

55 minutes ago, Ottservia said:

thanks and I'll keep that in mind. Honestly this scene sort of came out of a novel my friends and I are working on together. Anyway Yeah I definitely could've done a better job of really conveying what's at stake here cause honestly character motivation seems a little flat like you said. Though I just couldn't really find a place to put said character motivation maybe I could've delved into their heads a bit more. Added a bit more dialogue maybe? I dunno. Though I guess more flashbacks could've helped but given the rules of the prompt well...The rushed ending came out of time constraints tbh. I had a more serious and shall we say bitter ending planned out but that would've taken so much more time to build and execute. said ending would've had both boys nearly kill each other in where asmodeus steps in and tells them to make up but no they can't because of what happened. This in turn prompts them both to leave.

In short I was trying to write about two long time friends that were forced away from each other due to underlying differences in character traits and flaws but yeah that didn't pan out as intended.

Hm...I think I can think of a few ways I'd have put some more development in, but I'm not sure if any of them fit your particular writing style. So I suppose that's all up to you! One way would have been to give either Silver or Tatsuya control of the PoV. Not necessarily making it a first person story but rather, in third person, given the reader exclusive access to his thoughts, emotions, etc. That would allow the reader to follow someone's train of thought and understand how they view the situation and their opponent. If any of that makes sense. XD 

Another way is to add more dialogue. But I'd be careful. Extended conversations have their place, but too much talking can be boring when it borders on exposition. You need to have a clear idea of what you want to accomplish through a scene and think of ways to sprinkle in action. For example, if you'd like to show that they're close friends who've drifted apart, maybe one of them trashes something that's been special to both of them. Instead of saying, "We're not friends anymore!" their reactions to the destruction of somethingone or both of them cared about does all the work for you. Accomplishing what you want to accomplish without flashbacks is hard but not impossible! 

It's a bummer you didn't have enough time to finish the ending. What you have written there sounds pretty neat imo. I like me a good bit of angst. XD

[Dragoncat]

14 minutes ago, Rafiel's Aria said:

It's interesting to make Link more of a title... I don't think it screws with the Zelda lore at all, so it's probably fine, but wouldn't that mean you'd have to do the same thing for Zelda or just assume that all the girls in Hylian royalty get that name?

All the crown princesses are named Zelda. But no parent can realistically tell their son will be a Link. Make sense?

[Ottservia]

56 minutes ago, Rafiel's Aria said:

Hm...I think I can think of a few ways I'd have put some more development in, but I'm not sure if any of them fit your particular writing style. So I suppose that's all up to you! One way would have been to give either Silver or Tatsuya control of the PoV. Not necessarily making it a first person story but rather, in third person, given the reader exclusive access to his thoughts, emotions, etc. That would allow the reader to follow someone's train of thought and understand how they view the situation and their opponent. If any of that makes sense. XD 

Another way is to add more dialogue. But I'd be careful. Extended conversations have their place, but too much talking can be boring when it borders on exposition. You need to have a clear idea of what you want to accomplish through a scene and think of ways to sprinkle in action. For example, if you'd like to show that they're close friends who've drifted apart, maybe one of them trashes something that's been special to both of them. Instead of saying, "We're not friends anymore!" their reactions to the destruction of somethingone or both of them cared about does all the work for you. Accomplishing what you want to accomplish without flashbacks is hard but not impossible! 

something I need to work on to be sure. Though The scene itself is from Tatsuya's POV probably should've made that more clear. I did have a line a line from Silver mentioning something about Tatsuya's sort of girlfirend(it's really complicated) but it felt out of character so I scrapped it. There is some background element shared between the two involving Silver's brother but who knows where that would've taken things(again it's complicated). Maybe I also could've had Eos play a bigger role now that I think about it.

56 minutes ago, Rafiel's Aria said:

It's a bummer you didn't have enough time to finish the ending. What you have written there sounds pretty neat imo. I like me a good bit of angst. XD

thanks, and yeah I'm a little bummed about it to but with school and a mounting writer's block what can ya do.

Edited February 6, 2019 by Ottservia

[Jotari]

2 hours ago, Rafiel's Aria said:

Voting's not up yet, and that's probably a good thing. I'm not entirely sure who I'm going to vote for since we had a lot of strong pieces this round. After reading everything, I feel super inadequate. XD But I liked everything I read. As usual, I wrote up all my comments/critiques. If you want to discuss 

@Jotari

  Reveal hidden contents

This was a really compelling study of the two characters involved. I thought the way their dynamic fluctuated was really interesting. The piece was long, but it never got stagnant, and their interactions kept me guessing what would happen next. I do think you did a good job of capturing the emotion you wanted to. Made the ending pretty surprising. For the purpose of this prompt, I think the vague setting was fine, but I did have some trouble immersing myself in the world. I got this Indiana Jones vibe the entire time, but I couldn’t quite grasp whether it was a modern fantasy or post-apocalyptic or alternate earth setting. Since that’s not the main purpose of the piece, I suppose it isn’t important even if it’s intriguing. The pacing was nice, and what you revealed about the characters bit by bit was cool. I thought the man’s motivations were easier to follow than the girl’s. She was a bit harder to understand since I started the piece thinking she was something of a self-sacrificing archaeologist doing something for the good of humanity and ended up seeing her as more childish and naive. Overall, this was really interesting and well-written.  Probably would have enjoyed reading more. XD

 

Re:The Girl. It was kind of meant to be both. She thought she was a noble Archeologist performing a sacrifice, while he thought she was a naieve child and tried to make her believe she was too. Whichever one she truly is is up to the reader.

2 hours ago, Anacybele said:

Oh, THAT. lol silly me. I thought it helped further to explain why Judo's been depressed which was part of the point of this story. He's depressed because of various things and trying to get his head together and grow as a leader at last.

I've read the story and put notes down for it, though I'm waiting to read a few more before posting. Just want to say I didnt get the same feeling from the charm. It felt like character building and establishment. The idea of it coming back into the plot never crossed my mind given how it seems like it was lost  innocuously a great distance away.

 

 

hours ago, Dragoncat said:

@Rafiel's Ariaw things I forgot to mention: All the Links would have names they were born with as well, it just makes sense, what are your thoughts on that?

 

I hven't read this one yet but I do know my Zelda. There's actually evidence to suggest that the Link of Skyward Sword is really called Madas. As when Phi speaks in her gibberish she consistently says something like Mala Madas whenever Master Link is in the dialogue box and simply just Madas when she's only saying Link.

 

Edited February 6, 2019 by Jotari

[Anacybele]

8 minutes ago, Jotari said:

I've read the story and put notes down for it, though I'm waiting to read a few more before posting. Just want to say I didnt get the same feeling from the charm. It felt like character building and establishment. The idea of it coming back into the plot never crossed my mind given how it seems like it was lost  innocuously a great distance away.

Ooh, glad you liked that part, Jotari! Thanks. :)

[Jotari]

@Anacybele

To Be A Leader

Spoiler

Good sense of place. Really felt like a large world and story, yet it didn’t feel like I was lacking anything vital to understand the current situation. However I felt some of the dialogue was just strange going with the setting. I know Hyrule isn’t strict medieval, but some of the dialogue still felt anachronistic. Particularly the booby trap joke. I also think the turn around at the end was a bit drastic. I get that he did do a good job commanding the battle, but people were still just fighting for their lives and someone them just died. I think most people would be feeling pissed about getting caught in the ambush in the first place and just generally worn out instead of suddenly eager to praise.

 

@TheSilentChloey

The Silent One

Spoiler

Wow. Meta. I liked it though, really captured a depth of feeling, no doubt because it was autobiographical. Not sure it fully met the prompt as it felt kind of self-contained, ie I don’t feel like there was any significant previous happenings that lead to this aside from the character generally existing and having a life beforehand. As an isolated piece of writing though it’s pretty great.

 

@Shoblongoo

True Romance

Spoiler

Amusing, and would have worked great for the last prompt (not that it doesn’t suit this one too), but ultimately it’s just sort of one note. There’s no real development beyond the one thing that’s happening, aside from the punchline at the end. I’m not sure what else could have been done with the general idea, but I feel it’s lacking somewhere.

Additionally, I have a very hard time imaging Laslow saying “bruh!”

 

@LdotRage

Track of Time

Spoiler

Very strong writing from this one. The scene felt very real and the emotions were on full display. I was slightly worried how you were going to end it but the painting made for a good finish. I feel the fight with Hector dragged just a little bit, but that's me struggling to find something to say. Great job overall. I'm not sure what scenes and  dialogue you cut to end up with this but I think it was a good choice. Although I'am questioning the title. Was it a reference to the painting?

 

Edited February 6, 2019 by Jotari

[Anacybele]

38 minutes ago, Jotari said:

Good sense of place. Really felt like a large world and story, yet it didn’t feel like I was lacking anything vital to understand the current situation. However I felt some of the dialogue was just strange going with the setting. I know Hyrule isn’t strict medieval, but some of the dialogue still felt anachronistic. Particularly the booby trap joke. I also think the turn around at the end was a bit drastic. I get that he did do a good job commanding the battle, but people were still just fighting for their lives and someone them just died. I think most people would be feeling pissed about getting caught in the ambush in the first place and just generally worn out instead of suddenly eager to praise.

I can't say I agree here, Zelda is a world that has photo cameras and some machinery. "Booby trap" doesn't feel out of place at all to me when I think of that stuff. And where did you get that someone died in that battle? Nobody died there, I even had stated that. If you're referring to Aldin's death, that happened months before.

[Jotari]

7 minutes ago, Anacybele said:

I can't say I agree here, Zelda is a world that has photo cameras and some machinery. "Booby trap" doesn't feel out of place at all to me when I think of that stuff. And where did you get that someone died in that battle? Nobody died there, I even had stated that. If you're referring to Aldin's death, that happened months before.

From the line "We're losing too many men too quickly."

[Anacybele]

5 minutes ago, Jotari said:

From the line "We're losing too many men too quickly."

That was referring to those who were taken to the medical tent after being injured to the point where they're unable to fight. But I guess I should've made this more clear, my mistake.

Edited February 6, 2019 by Anacybele

[Shoblongoo]

1 hour ago, Jotari said:

 I have a very hard time imaging Laslow saying “bruh!”

Because you're sober 
 

On 1/28/2019 at 4:53 AM, Rafiel's Aria said:

 “I thought we bros” got a snort out of me.

Originally that was a typo.

Then when I went back to do my edits I realized it just made him sound more drunk, so I kept it
_______

@Jotari My praises and critiques for this one are largely duplicative of the points already raised by Rafiel. Starting mid-action with a door slamming shut and the characters being trapped was sufficient to meet the elements of this challenge; I think the media res prompt may have encouraged you to go a bit overboard with the vagueness and withholding of information about the setting. (I'm kinda inclined to agree that since that wasn't the main purpose of the piece + the main purpose of the piece was successful, its a relatively minor nitpick) 

Cool characters and smooth dialogue. 

@Rafiel's Aria Ya know--this is another one that I feel qualifies as a "multiprompt." It works for this prompt. If you had submitted it back in Round #4 when the challenge was "write a story about a character in a failing relationship," it coulda worked for that too.

For this round: I'd say your piece was far-in-away the most successful at fleshing out the character of your OC's + portraying them in a way where they come across as real people with real emotions responding to real challenges. 

Which--while not really an element of the challenge--is just an important enough part of writing any compelling story + a tricky enough thing to do that I'm leaning towards giving you the thumbs-up when voting opens. 

@Ottservia Perfectly respectable last minute submission. I like that its dialogue driven and relies on your character's reactions to let the reader know the context of whats going on, instead of your own drawn-out narration. Thats right in the wheelhouse of how I like to write + see scenes presented.  

I don't think you needed anything more in the way of narration for this one. 

I got that there was a party of fighters doing--something. Things went south. People got captured.

We enter the scene at the point where the people who got away are frustrated and second-guessing what could have gone differently and assigning blame + venting their frustration that everything just went to shit. 

Thats all we need to know: it works. 

I think if anything, with a little more time you could have improved the piece by going into lengthier back-and-froths with the character dialogue and really drilling down on getting some visceral reactions out of your characters to what-in-the-hell-just-happened. 

The ending feels cathartic. Which was exactly the right note to end on here. I'm fine with it. 





 

Edited February 6, 2019 by Shoblongoo

[Rafiel's Aria]

On ‎2019‎年‎2‎月‎6‎日 at 12:45 PM, Dragoncat said:

All the crown princesses are named Zelda. But no parent can realistically tell their son will be a Link. Make sense?

I suppose that makes sense. I suppose it can get complicated in Zelda's case. Like if there's no crown princess. Or if the crown princess passes away and her sister has to suddenly take her dead sister's name because it's tradition. Becomes a little morbid at that point. XD I suppose the only way a parent would know that their child is "Link" is if they had some sort of prophetic vision or whatnot. I've just always assumed that "Link" is a like...spiritual reincarnation of sorts, so he's definitely Link, but he's someone else as well. >.< Whoa...it's too early for theorizing. 

On ‎2019‎年‎2‎月‎7‎日 at 2:40 AM, Shoblongoo said:

Originally that was a typo.

Then when I went back to do my edits I realized it just made him sound more drunk, so I kept it

I figured it was done semi-purposefully. But I'm glad you chose to leave it in. XD

On ‎2019‎年‎2‎月‎7‎日 at 2:40 AM, Shoblongoo said:

@Rafiel's Aria Ya know--this is another one that I feel qualifies as a "multiprompt." It works for this prompt. If you had submitted it back in Round #4 when the challenge was "write a story about a character in a failing relationship," it coulda worked for that too.

For this round: I'd say your piece was far-in-away the most successful at fleshing out the character of your OC's + portraying them in a way where they come across as real people with real emotions responding to real challenges. 

Which--while not really an element of the challenge--is just an important enough part of writing any compelling story + a tricky enough thing to do that I'm leaning towards giving you the thumbs-up when voting opens. 

I actually tried to write a story with this couple for Round 4, but I was a little too ambitious. I was trying to find a way to write several scenes from their lives together to show how things spiraled out of control, but I mean...this scene alone took around 4500 words to tell properly. I think If I had tried to squeeze in more scenes, I would've pushed the 10k word limit. But I've really wanted to write something with them for a while. And I'm glad this prompt allowed me to work around the graphic nature of this scene a little.

Thank you for the comments. I'm fairly fond of Ashley, even if he isn't one of the main characters in my novel. I struggle not to give him too much screen time. lol But I do torture him enough that I do think he deserves a little happy side story I eventually give him. I'm glad my characters got a chance to shine this time.

[Rapier]

Finished editing the first post with the prompts, as well as included a countdown timer.

Also, is anyone willing to switch with me? I don't want to be responsible for this anymore, but I like the initiative and wouldn't want it to die out. A new topic can be made to continue what we've been doing on this one.

Also (again), how does anyone manage to write? I keep getting a blank whenever I try to write anything and my ideas don't make much sense.

[Ottservia]

3 minutes ago, Rapier said:

Also (again), how does anyone manage to write? I keep getting a blank whenever I try to write anything and my ideas don't make much sense.

the answer is quite simple: just write. Doesn't matter what it is so long as you get something down that should be good enough to spark SOMETHING, ANYTHING. At least that's how I go about writing when I seem to have a block/lack of motivation or whatever. I mean it doesn't even have to be good. it just needs to be something cause you gotta remember your first draft will always be shit and that's okay. Always tell yourself you can always fix it later plus getting your idea written out like that may help you better organize them or spark new ideas which in turn gets you to write more. I mean that's from my experience anyway.

Edited February 8, 2019 by Ottservia

[AnonymousSpeed]

4 minutes ago, Rapier said:

Also, is anyone willing to switch with me?

Sure, I would.

 

4 minutes ago, Rapier said:

Also (again), how does anyone manage to write? I keep getting a blank whenever I try to write anything and my ideas don't make much sense.

I've never actually written a novel, but I guess it's worth considering what sort of point you want to get across with the story. That gives you little "goals" to work towards and ideas for things to write in order to accomplish them.

[Rafiel's Aria]

3 minutes ago, Rapier said:

Finished editing the first post with the prompts, as well as included a countdown timer.

Also, is anyone willing to switch with me? I don't want to be responsible for this anymore, but I like the initiative and wouldn't want it to die out. A new topic can be made to continue what we've been doing on this one.

Also (again), how does anyone manage to write? I keep getting a blank whenever I try to write anything and my ideas don't make much sense.

I'm not sure I'd be a good choice to take over, but if no one volunteers, I don't mind attempting to manage it for a bit. (But that's if absolutely no one else volunteers.) Historically, I've had a lot of trouble being able to edit opening posts on SF. I'm worried I'd get locked out. 

As for your question, sometimes I don't write. It's really easy for me to go a few weeks being too tired or uninspired. It's especially hard during the winter where I see basically...zero sunlight for three or four months. My apartment's cold. it's too icy to drive anywhere... It sucks. But I try to surround myself with things that might inspire me. I might read a good book or browse Pinterest or watch a TV show or play a game. Right now, I've been hyped about the plotline my DnD campaign is taking, the Young Justice TV series, the characters in the mobile game, Epic 7, and the When Legends Rise album by Godsmack. Those things put me in a mood where I want to create. Forcing myself to write is probably the BEST way to consistently write stuff and to improve, but that means I'm not always producing stuff I'm happy with/not enjoying it. I've got a BIG project I've been working on and haven't really touched for a few weeks now. But writing my oneshot for this helped me dip my foot back into the universe. 

[Dragoncat]

@TheSilentChloey Trying to be as polite as possible here, I am glad Anon didn't take offense to this and I apologize for starting that little kerfluffle. BUT my point about if you don't want to or don't think you can come up with something for a prompt, to just not do it, still stands. Shoblongoo had a point that your piece for round 1 would have worked better for this prompt. You did not start in the middle of a story, you started at the beginning and wrote a satire. Other than that, I still think you're a decent enough writer, it's just that sometimes you have to just not write for a prompt.

@Shoblongoo Awesome multiprompt, a bit shorter than mine but works. My only nitpicks are that it may be a bit dialogue heavy and that I was wondering where Arthur was during this whole ordeal. Niles was totally Niles for sure lol. 

@LdotRage Very angst filled, but strong and poignant, and in character for Eliwood I'd say. I expected "something's happened to Roy" to be Roy shapeshifted because of his dragon heritage, honestly. I am wondering what the first part of this story would have been, because it seems more like a full story starting at the beginning.

[Rapier]

I mostly struggle with structure, not ideas. Like, I have an idea but I don't really know how to convey it well or how to make the sequence of events make sense. But yeah, it just happens I now have an idea that interests me, but the time is up, so...

[Rafiel's Aria]

24 minutes ago, Rapier said:

I mostly struggle with structure, not ideas. Like, I have an idea but I don't really know how to convey it well or how to make the sequence of events make sense. But yeah, it just happens I now have an idea that interests me, but the time is up, so...

I guess my only response for structuring an idea is to try mapping it out before you write. I'm not much of a planner, but I recently started doing it so I don't get so overwhelmed with my big ideas. How you map something is up to you, but there are a lot of methods like the Snowflake Method for instance. Mapping helps you decide if you can experiment with form. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of a linear plot. I like fragmentation and flashbacks and plots with a more circular nature. If you're a reader, I'd recommend reading books (or even watching TV shows/movies) with varying forms to get a better idea of how you'd like to portray something because linear plots aren't always the way to go. I watched The Haunting of Hill House a while back (it's spooky so beware), and it does a great job of playing with the timeline of a story. 

Other than that, it just takes practice. For these little "contests," I usually write two drafts because more often than not, I'm not happy with the first one... 

[Ottservia]

32 minutes ago, Rapier said:

I mostly struggle with structure, not ideas. Like, I have an idea but I don't really know how to convey it well or how to make the sequence of events make sense. But yeah, it just happens I now have an idea that interests me, but the time is up, so...

Well that depends are you more of a discovery writer or a planner? I, myself, am more of a discovery writer. I tend to just get an idea in my head and just write as I go along. Outlines, to me, are little too restrictive for the way I like to do things but I will admit planning things a little bit in advance does go a long way. It's a spectrum at the end of the day. Really the best advice I can give (as someone who struggles with this as well) is to just write. Writing your ideas out and being able to read them aloud really does help me figure out how to organize things. Sometimes when I'm in the middle of writing a scene, an idea for a new scene will pop into my head and I'll start writing that. My rough drafts tend to be very messy and I just sort of end up organizing it later once I have those ideas down.

As for the conveyance thing well you really gotta understand what you want to convey and then truly ask yourself how to convey it(I know how redundant that sounds but bear with me here). Like for example if in scene, a character is angry. How do you convey that to the reader?  Well what does an angry person do? how do they think? these are the questions you wanna ask yourself. If a character is frustrated, I tend to use broken, fragmented and simple sentences to convey their inner thoughts because when you are frustrated like you're not thinking clearly and every thought is just jumbled together. Really what it boils down is what is the point of the scene? and what exactly are the components? and given the tools available to you how do you go about conveying that point? I dunno if I explained this as well as I could have but those are just my general thoughts.

[TheSilentChloey]

2 hours ago, Dragoncat said:

@TheSilentChloey Trying to be as polite as possible here, I am glad Anon didn't take offense to this and I apologize for starting that little kerfluffle. BUT my point about if you don't want to or don't think you can come up with something for a prompt, to just not do it, still stands. Shoblongoo had a point that your piece for round 1 would have worked better for this prompt. You did not start in the middle of a story, you started at the beginning and wrote a satire. Other than that, I still think you're a decent enough writer, it's just that sometimes you have to just not write for a prompt.

@Shoblongoo Awesome multiprompt, a bit shorter than mine but works. My only nitpicks are that it may be a bit dialogue heavy and that I was wondering where Arthur was during this whole ordeal. Niles was totally Niles for sure lol. 

@LdotRage Very angst filled, but strong and poignant, and in character for Eliwood I'd say. I expected "something's happened to Roy" to be Roy shapeshifted because of his dragon heritage, honestly. I am wondering what the first part of this story would have been, because it seems more like a full story starting at the beginning.

How about you stop assuming that was what the whole story was about.

 

Look I get you're trying to be polite but I'm not in the mood to be told by you what I SHOULD or SHOULDN'T do.  I'll decide if I don't want to write or not.  I only wanted to poke a bit of fun at myself and you assumed it was to insult Anon which it wasn't.  If anything it was meant to be self indulging.