Or you can just let the people post said topics, not read them, and watch them dissolve.
Honestly, no one reads the guidelines. Changing them is pointless, and for the rare soul that does read them, I'd feel sorry if they came across this crap.
Last thing you need is someone who doesn't read the guidelines say they're going to kill themselves, only to get modded for bitching and actually killing themselves. Sure, it's not the sites fault he's dead, it's the mods fault. Much better. ;)