SoulWeaver
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Posts posted by SoulWeaver
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I’m horribly torn between doing literally anything else and an NGNL piece, so I feel you.
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6 hours ago, TheSilentChloey said:
I had no idea I'd done that many entries...
My goodness. O.o
I mean, Anon did give you honorable mention for having a 100% participation rate. Just looking at the number of rounds in Competition 2/2.5, it’s definitely an impressive number.
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2 hours ago, Azure loves his Half Elves said:
I was hoping I had enough time to give out critiques for the previous round, but oh well.
I’m unsure about my ability to write a fic write now. I’ll get to one when I have the time, but it’s not a guarantee.
I mean, there’s no time limit on critiques, you could technically go back and critique pieces from the original WYBO competition if you wanted.
Also @Jotari, to address your critique, pretty much pronounce it like you were trying to say “prop a Canada” but with a G. As for how it was resolved, if you go back and look at Anon’s piece referenced here, “The Chromspiracy,” you’ll notice the post says it has been edited at some point. The concept of the piece is that originally Anon posted it in video format, with himself reading the script, including actually coming up with the thirty-some-odd different pronunciations of Anna that can be seen in the current post. Basically, Annanymous hacked the post(and the site the vid was posted to) and removed the video, leaving only the written work. They then dealt with Anon himself by sending him a convincingly-rendered trailer of an official Megaman Battle network 7 game, and his poor heart overloaded with joy, killing him on the spot.
also nobody got the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen reference how do any of you call yourself refined smh
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2 hours ago, DarthR0xas said:
Great. I was kinda surprised this prompt hadn't been done yet, I checked every past round just to make sure.
A character is transported into a different world. What happens?
Bruh.
1 hour ago, AnonymousSpeed said:It is done. I'm sure Soul is very happy.
“Wait, where am I? Write a piece about a character(s) who suddenly find themselves in another world.”
-from my future Prompts list.
The real problem is I have so many ideas for this, with not lots of motivation.
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1 minute ago, Ottservia said:
I mean I suppose But eh I dunno I guess I just didn’t feel comfortable doing that. I’m just weird like that. I guess there just wasn’t enough there for me to craft an interesting enough conflict.*Shrug* Sometimes I just get an idea in mu head and I just need to put it to paper.
All good, it just made me laugh because you said ‘I’mma do a Fight Scene’ and I said ‘try this’ and Anon said ‘I was gonna suggest the exact same thing’ and you said ‘oh in that case, ah-nee-meh friendship speech.’
Ooh, now that I think about it, the one I should have suggested was Two Silver Candlesticks from the Sacrifice round. Again, not bashing on yours, I definitely liked it almost to first(death scene from opposite PoV won out in the end tho), but thinking about it TSC has the anime-opening style you could make something janky with and I set up enough world building for a potential fight scene, plus it was a throwaway one-shot so it’s not like you could mess the world up since I barely knew anything about it myself.
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10 hours ago, AnonymousSpeed said:
Wait, "Edward Partner" ? I demand elaboration.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/gameluster.com/fire-emblem-heroes-ripoff-glory-emblem-goes-viral/amp/
Can’t find the exact pic I saw that on, you could probably find it through the Twitter group or by asking around the FEH subreddit. It’s absolutely the most hilarious spoof I’ve seen in a long time.
Spoiler
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Um, Jotari, Azure and Darth used different pieces as groundwork, they just both happened to be by Otts and were as a matter of course both about Severa.
7 hours ago, Ottservia said:I mean I wanted to but I couldn't find the right entry for it. Fight scenes are difficult because you need to have a deep understanding of both combatants before you write it and to be able to communicate that to the audience in a very clear and concise way. Fights are stories in it of themselves and require an immense amount of build up or good characterization because the most important part of a fight is not so much the fight itself but rather the context surrounding it and I just couldn't find an entry where I could reasonably create that context in a compelling way without overloading on the backstory.
Dude I pretty much handed you a chance to use a fight scene to build the backstory for the entry itself. That said, I did like what you did put out, even if Jotari’s kind of right that it can basically be summarized using Ansem and Riku’s interaction in Just A Pancake’s Kingdom Hearts CoM In A Nutshell video.
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meanwhile I sit in the sad Metroid corner, it's our 35th next year too but you bet nobody will give a crap1 hour ago, Benice said:Also, what would people think of a fully voice-acted Zelda game? I'd actually kinda like that.
They just need to bring back Link, Zelda and Morshu's VAs for it.Eeeeenhhh, I feel like it would kind of kill the Zelda experience for me, I got turned off on BoTW for the same reason. I'm sure other people would like it, but...eh.
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AQW Chaos Lord Tibicenas’ storyline. Alternatively, even more belly dancers.
Why is it that I loathe dogs but love Velouria?
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Because belly dancers.
Explain to me, in your own words, why humanity worships Naga.
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1 minute ago, Fabulously Olivier said:
I had no idea that even existed. But considering it blatantly steals character designs, Nintendo probably has grounds for legal action (or would, if China didn't wipe its ass with copyright law). That's not competition, it's theft.
Oh, absolutely, it’s apparently 100% spyware too if the FEH Reddit is to be believed. Doesn’t change the fact that it just might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen - ‘Edward partner’ still makes me chuckle.
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1 hour ago, DarthR0xas said:
Alright, got a lot to read this round and it's gonna be a busy week, so I'll probably keep these short and snappy.
It's an interesting little piece, although it does feel like it could use some fleshing out. Your world for the fairies reminds me a lot of the movie "Strange Magic", although I haven't seen it in 5 years so it's probably not as apt a comparison as I think it is. Regardless, while it may be beyond the scope of a small story, it just kinda feels like the fae world doesn't really have a place.
You have bits and pieces of stuff you could elaborate on to better portray Fae society. Vendilin's attitude towards humans, the weird contradictions of their society, but none of them really go anywhere. It ends up feeling more like a concept piece than an actual meaningful story. That said, it's a damn good concept piece that left me wanting more.
It's a very well written piece, on a technical level, but there's just a little something that feels off about it and I'm just not sure how to place it. It might be that Byleth is a telepath, which I personally don't see the reason for. Maybe it's that Ashe lives, which both kinda ruins the whole point of the original story and doesn't really have much purpose outside of you like him and want him to survive. I get not wanting to exactly copy the conversation that Azure wrote and so changing some of the details, but by making sure he lives it kinda takes away from the more dark atmosphere of the story. Sure Rodrigue dies, but as a reader, we don't have any attachment to him, we have it to the character we start off with, Felix. Personally I would've had this all take place from Rodrigue's perspective, or just all take place from Felix's perspective.
And that kinda gets to what I think it is the issue that makes it feel off, which would be the sort of disparate nature of the story.
The story is essentially split into two halves, and I don't feel like they gracefully transition or relate. The first is the part mainly based on Azure's story, with a camp scene for when he leaves. And I love the camp scene, by the way, easily the best part of the piece. Then there's the Rodrigue murder sequence. It just feels like a very harsh and fast jump. The piece really relies on you having played CF before, or at the very least understanding the general outline of its story. Granted, this is an FE forum so having that understanding isn't an absurd thing to ask for, but as a piece I feel it suffers as a result.
As I said before, the reader doesn't have as strong a connection to Rodrigue as Felix, and as such most of the scenes involving him feel a bit flat. This is contrasted when we go back to Felix and it feels more natural, but then Annette comes in. This is another change from the source, but since Annette isn't killed on-page in Azure's piece I'd say it's fine, but I feel like you don't lean into it enough. Yes this is partially because I'm a sucker for romance, but if you want one of Felix's driving motivations to be his relationship with Annette, then have them interact. Their relationship as is feels both tacked on, and intended from the start.
Again, the story was good, I enjoyed reading it, it's still very well written. I just feel like it needed some more time in the oven, to flesh out character dynamics more, and maybe make the timeskip more seamless.
Welp, couldn't read the original piece, so I guess I'll just jump in.
That was the dumbest story I have read in a while and I fucking loved it. Do I entirely understand what happened? No, but the gimmick of everything being an Anna pun is good enough for me to enjoy the story regardless. Although I do feel that the story suffers as a result of it partially relying on the base piece, but none of us being able to read said base piece.
Still has my vote, fucking love puns.
You said in your authors notes that you feel the piece is lacking substance. I'd moreso say that I feel the substance is slightly misplaced. I kinda feel like you got a little caught up in the idea of basically portraying what that song you posted portrays, and in doing so lost some focus, as well as overall just kinda making it a weaker piece.
I just personally feel like the original wasn't meant to be a shounen style story, and in trying to make it one, it just kinda doesn't work. Don't get me wrong, I love cheesy shounen nonsense as much as the next guy, but it's not great at portraying emotion. It's a cool moment, sure, but the feelings you're trying to portray with it don't fully pan out.
Both the original, and this piece to an extent are about Fredrick and his relationships, with a side of Robin and her relationships. This piece turns and makes it more about Robin's relationships, however in the process Fredrick loses most of his significance, and it really makes the story feel shaky. In a sense, Fredrick is the foundation of the story.
That and, the time crunch is sorta apparent. There are moments when quoting or using the original source exactly are nice and cute callbacks. This piece, relied on them too hard in my opinion. If it had just been the Robin waking up scene, I would've probably been fine with it, but adding in the first meeting scene practically word of word, and also it being about half of Freddy's lines rubbed me the wrong way.
All that said, still a fun piece to read. Also I was really expecting like a big fight scene. Ngl I was a little disappointed. I might have to try and write one now to get my fix.
You noted that the piece was rushed and it certainly feels that way. A lot of typos and other small errors that generally bring down the overall quality of the piece. As a whole, the piece just kinda feels unfocused. The story hems and haws but doesn't really feel decisive. The new characters aren't particularly stand out, and really don't provide much of a strong base. Degore almost gets there, but then the story abruptly ends. What this story needed was to have a few more scenes, namely a death scene for Mordred and Degore. If you want to make them seem more human, showing them in their final moments would've succeeded in that. On top of that, I would've added a flashback or two showing how Kieran developed his impression of his father and brother, strengthen the ties to the original tale and all. It's a decent enough piece, but it feels way too slap-dash and doesn't have much, if any substance.
Good lord 9 pages long. I thought the four pages when I originally gave you a hand were long but jeez. Not knocking it, clearly a lot of effort was put in, and it's pretty impressive.
In the context of some of the advice I gave you about your story, I'd say you implemented it pretty well. Your dialogue is much better, in my opinion, and the dialogue in the later parts of the story are pretty fluid. That said, the wording can sometimes get a bit jumbly. Like I said, read it out loud. If it doesn't sound good out loud, rewrite it.
On top of that, there are some other grammatical errors and the like, most major being how on page 6 Severa's line with Inigo is just, not finished. This on top of the, sorta sloppy ending. Like yeah I felt sad, but it didn't really feel conclusive in its nature. But I think that's the flaw in writing a longer piece, the finer details can slip through the cracks. Like I said before, you did obviously put a lot of effort in, but personally I would've focused on creating a slightly shorter, tighter narrative than the one you did create.
Although I know why your piece is the way it is, and it has to relate both with your initial idea and how you decided to execute it. Out of all the entries, yours leans the least onto the source material. I'd probably say yours is the only story that entirely would work on its own without reading the original, as the others rely majorly in some way or another on the source. Although as a result of your idea, you then had to tell the entirety of Ott's story, while also telling your story. That's what gives the piece some of its bloat.
Like I said, enjoyed your piece a ton
(Hated the ending, just give them a happy ending damnit. I don't wanna cry.), and it was fun to both read and help you out with it. However I feel like it was a real "bite off more than you can chew" moment.Was reading all the entries that the pieces were based on necessary? Probably not, but it helped understand where the author was coming from, somewhat. Anyways, glad we're rocking that 7 way tie. Perfectly balanced as all things should be, and all that jazz.
Oof, that was my bad for not linking to Scoot’s original. It’s on here, just buried somewhere in my ‘write a character interacting with another version of themselves’ round, I believe Anon linked to it in his ‘timeline of nonsense’ he threw together shortly after I posted my piece. If you want I’ll dig it out for you tomorrow, it’s an amazing read and I was really sad I couldn’t vote for it as he missed the deadline by like half a day.
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15 minutes ago, Florete said:
We've all seen how that turns out.
Pour one out for ya boi Pokemon Omega. Excuse me for a moment, I need a tissue.
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I don't see any mention of Glory Emblem, shame on you.
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1 minute ago, AnonymousSpeed said:
No 'cause y'all greedy hogs keep winnin'
Wait, now I'm curious, how many times has everyone won?
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15 minutes ago, AnonymousSpeed said:
You don't really realize it, but Shoblongoo and SoulWeaver are the WYBO meta.
Wait what, why, because he does serious prompts and I do...(checks list) less-serious prompts, so we cover all bases?
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2 minutes ago, Ottservia said:
I mean at one point it was me but I’ve since changed my vote because biases but it’s still a really solid entry not to knock Chloey or anything
Oh, not throwing shade either, I just want to see a seven-way tie.
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Ok, so we just need one more person to come in and vote for The Price of Patriotism. Anyone know someone we can volunteer for that?
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I mean, personally I prefer Aeroga for my go-to spell. Or Thundaga. Thundaga is good too. /s
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I'mma play devil's advocate here and say a story/character-based player should go with Fates. Calling @Ottservia as my backup as I know he's written quite a bit on the subject of Fates' story. Fates also has more characters to potentially love, and can allow a less-experienced player a chance to get more acquainted with challenge run ideas or slightly trickier map setup easier due to basically doing just that between versions.
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Shoot, you updated that on me. Gotta get back to work bleugh.
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...I find it more than a little amusing that 3H is getting curbstomped for pairings this round.
Also I’d like to point out Eliwood-Laegjarn is currently written as belonging to FE7. While this is absolutely how I would like it to go, technically the pairing is only possible in FEH.
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Ok, real question though, will the final champion pair then have to face off against the pairing of the winners of the Best Boy and Girl contests?
Fire Emblem: The Ruined World (Act 1- Clandestine Crusade)
in Roleplay
Posted
“I’ll go either way, but if we’re going to keep searching I agree we should move quickly.” Intriguing - absolutely no trace of a trail, not so much as a footprint. Even Masked leave steps behind them, the kid showed me how to tell them from regular ones. Just what was she, hm? This is going to be very enjoyable.